That’s what breaks me. That’s what makes my chest tighten, what makes me shake all over.
“It’s not okay. You look—”
“I know.” I manage to stand with her help, though I have to lean against the wall. Everything’s still a little fuzzy.
“I’m going back to the phone to call the cops.”
“No, please.” I stop short of grabbing her since I don’t want to get blood on her. “Don’t do that. It’ll only make things worse.”
There are tears in her eyes, and I realize she can’t be any older than me. She might even still be in high school. It’s almost enough to make me laugh. I might as well be a walking warning. Don’t let a cute guy trick you into thinking you’re less than nothing, or you might end up like me.
I look down at myself, and for some reason, it’s the blood I’ve dripped onto the dress that makes my eyes well up again. “I’ll pay for this.”
“Don’t worry about it. The store can afford it.” She waits outside the dressing room while I put my own clothes on—carefully, so carefully—then ushers me to an employee bathroom where I can clean myself up before stepping outside again. I’m so ashamed, but she insists it’s okay. Everything’s okay.
Everything’s not okay, and it has never been. I only lied to myself enough times that I started to believe the lie.
10
Lucian
I’ve only stayed away from her for two days, but that’s already two days too long.
It’s not right. I can’t use up my encounters this quickly.
But I can’t get anything else done, either, with Rowan running through my mind on an endless loop. The feel of her, the taste of her skin. The sweetness of her sighs, her moans, even when she wants to pretend she’s not as turned on as I am.
If anything, breaking her will makes the whole thing hotter. Knowing she can’t resist me no matter how she fights it. I know the feeling. I’ve struggled to resist her since the night I first laid eyes upon her, and I haven’t been successful yet.
It might be better to get her out of my system quickly. Once the possibility of being with her is solidly in the past, it will be easier to forget her. The option will no longer be there. The temptation is removed from my subconscious, where it insists on plaguing me.
I summon Rick to my office around mid-afternoon, after waiting as long as humanly possible. He drove Rowan here the day of her examination, so he knows where to find her. “Pick up Rowan and bring her to me.” He nods once before turning and leaving the room. Rick’s one of my longtime employees, part bodyguard, part driver. He doesn’t need to be told more than once to do something, which is one reason he’s remained in my employ this long.
I hate having to repeat myself.
Now that I know she’s on her way, I can get back to business. The club’s books sit in front of me—both of them, the one we use for IRS purposes and the one recording our true numbers. While I trust my accountants, there’s nothing like the threat of me reviewing their work to keep them honest.
And the only people who fully trust their accountants are the ones who either end up robbed blind or imprisoned for some stupid mistake. I won’t be either of those people. Even making certain all of my employees are generously compensated isn’t enough to guard against trouble down the road, and I know it.
Everything looks good from where I’m sitting. The money we take in from big-ticket customers like Glen and his ilk is carefully concealed in membership fees for individuals who don’t exist. According to these “official” books, we do brisk business but nothing over the top.
Of course, this isn’t my only business. It’s one of many, none of which are exactly legal. Neither is paying for sex, but that’s what membership fees are for. They’re our way around sticky legal problems.
It isn’t until I glance at the clock and find a half-hour has passed that I start wondering what’s taking Rick so long. I’ve been to her apartment, and it’s not more than ten minutes from the club, even with traffic. She might need time to prepare herself, come to think of it.
And if that’s what’s taking so long, I can only fantasize about how to punish her once she’s with me. Didn’t I warn her? She has to be ready for me whenever I want her.
A few minutes pass before my cell rings. It’s Rick, and instantly my instincts tell me something’s off. He wouldn’t call unless there was an emergency or something like that. “What?” I bark into the phone, already put off from having to wait.
“Uh… She’s not coming out.”
I stand abruptly enough to knock my chair against the credenza behind the desk. “I know you didn’t just say that.”