“God, would you stop using those words. Defecate? Gross, that’s worse than when you said scrotum. I just have to pee.”
“Good,” I say relieved as I reach for the urine collection bottle beside the bed. “Here you go.”
His jaw is still hanging open when I scoop up the dirty towels and carry them out of the room.
Chapter 30
Thumper
“You’re being stubborn,” Cara snaps.
“Just let me do it myself.” As I say the words, I don’t know if I can actually make it to the bathroom alone, but her hands on me are fixing to make it impossible to avoid other topics of conversation.
“Okay. I’m letting go. Ready?”
“Hold on. Just… hold on.” I don’t put more weight on her but turn my face and rest my chin on the top of her head. “I sure am an asshole.”
“Why is that?”
“Huh?”
“Why are you an asshole?”
“You want a list?” I chuckle, but it’s only to divert her attention because I hadn’t meant to say those words at all.
I’m not about to open my mouth and confess that I just want her touching me, that I want her skin against mine.
“You can use the—”
“I’m not pissing in that fucking bottle again.”
“I don’t mind emptying it. I was a—”
“Nurse’s aide. I remember, but you shouldn’t have to do that kind of shit for me.”
“I don’t min—”
“I’m ready,” I say as I pull my chin from the top of her head and try to stand on my own.
I’ve been back at the clubhouse for about thirty-six hours, and although I’m feeling a little better, these wounds can only heal so fast. Standing to my full height isn’t possible, but I can hobble bent over a little.
“You have the prettiest hair,” I say, swiping away the strands that get tangled in my beard growth.
“You’re just trying to distract me so I won’t help you.”
“Can you leave a little of my dignity in place, please?” I say it to tease, but it comes out on a groan when I move my leg and pain radiates up my shin.
“Sorry,” she mumbles, stepping fully away. I miss the heat of her body immediately and instantly regret insisting on doing this on my own.
“I didn’t—fuck, Cara. I’m not trying to be an asshole. I seriously appreciate all your help. Everything just hurts.” I hate sounding so vulnerable around her, but it’s better than her thinking I’m a complete asshole.
“You’re in pain. I understand. Are you sure you can make it?”
“I think so.”
“If you crumple to the ground, I’m just going to have to leave you there. There’s no way I can get you back up off the floor.”
I could tell her that one of the guys would probably help, but I haven’t seen anyone since Kincaid stopped by a day and a half ago. All the guys are keeping their distance, and I don’t know what to make of it. They probably hate me with a passion, and I wouldn’t blame them, honestly.
“I won’t fall,” I tell her, cocking my head to the side so I can see her pretty face.
Her lips are set in a flat line that says she doesn’t believe me.
“I’ll try not to fall, but if I do, just roll me out of your way. I’ll get up, eventually.”
“That’s not even funny.”
I take another step, putting me only two steps away from the bed and a million and a half it seems between where I am and the bathroom.
“Jesus, fuck,” I groan when my legs threaten to give out.
“Okay, you stubborn man.” She steps back in, her arm under mine, and it makes her just the perfect height to help, seeing as I can’t stand fully. “Let’s get you to the bathroom. I don’t understand why urinat—peeing in a bottle is that big of a deal.”
“Because you shouldn’t have to deal with my piss,” I say on a groan as we start to move across the room. “And don’t tell me you’re used to it. Of all the things I imagined where you are concerned, not once was it dealing with my pee.”
“So?” she says in a way that makes me regret even opening my mouth in the first place. “What exactly have you imagined?”
“Do you really expect me to walk with an erection? This is hard enough as it is. Have a little mercy on me.”
She doesn’t say another word as we make our way to the bathroom at a snail’s pace, and she doesn’t complain about the amount of weight I put on her.
“I got it from here,” I tell her once we step inside the bathroom.
“You’re sure?”
“As I’ll ever be,” I mutter, eyeing the distance between the toilet and the shower, knowing I need both.
“Are you planning on getting a shower? There’s a chair in there.”
“For invalids.”
She chuckles. “The medical supply store was out of walkers, but we have one on back order.”