“What do you mean?” I mutter against his lips.
“I was going to go slow… too slow. Get a pulse on where you were, but I’ve never been good at subtle.”
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“Not that I’m complaining, but what changed your mind?”
“When I left you sleeping this morning, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. My meeting was brutal, so I cut it short, and on my way back here, Nicky called. His protection over you set me off. I didn’t want him to worry because you were with me. Then it dawned on me, I don’t want anyone to worry because you will always be safe with me.
“I decided I’d make my move. When you looked at me on the beach, I cracked. I’ve never wanted anything as badly as to kiss you right that second.”
My insides give a little quiver, thinking about that kiss. It was hours ago, but I still feel the buzz of electricity when his tongue swept across my lips. I knew things were changing, but I didn’t want to let myself hope. I let his words truly sink in.
“…in my wildest dreams…”
“…couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“…I don’t want anyone to worry because you will always be safe with me.”
“…never wanted anything as badly as to kiss you…”
Any feelings I was suppressing have exploded, making my heart race. I may have thought I loved him before, but now, I can’t remember a time when he wasn’t everything I ever wanted. It’s never been about his money, his position, or his prestige.
It’s because he’s Shaw Bennett, the man who is so deep and so powerful. The man who would walk through fire for those he loves. The same man who can crush someone with just the slice of his eyes, and ten minutes later send a dying teenager a room full of sports memorabilia of his favorite player.
His eyes search mine, waiting for a response as I smooth one hand over his cheek. “I consider myself lucky that you’re not good at subtle because this has been the best afternoon of my life. Thank you for giving me that.”
I fight the sting of tears welling up, but one slips out. He catches it with his thumb and raises an eyebrow.
“Why do I feel like there’s something you’re not saying?”
I decide to follow his lead, no holding back. “There’s a part of me that’s scared to believe this is really happening. What if—”
“Shh.” He places a finger against my lips. “I know how much we both have at stake here. I’ve thought about it for weeks. This isn’t casual for me; it’s the opposite. I may have mentioned I’m crazy about you, but I don’t think you understand. Lucky for me, I have a lot of time to show you. I’m not going anywhere.”
“How do you know? There’s so much to learn.”
He holds my stare for a few seconds before dropping his head to my neck. I faintly feel his chest vibrating and realize he’s laughing at me.
“I wasn’t being funny.” I push against him, trying to force his face to mine. It’s useless, and in one quick move, he’s twisted to his back, taking me with him.
One arm grips my waist while the other slides up, holding the back of my head. He continues to laugh, and I struggle to get out of his grasp.
“Stop fighting me, babe.”
“No! You’re making fun of me. I was being serious!”
“I know. That’s what’s so funny.” His hand on my head loosens enough to allow me to lean back and see him fully.
His eyes dance with humor as he tries to keep a straight face. “Listen to me. I do know you, better than I know myself sometimes. What you’re not realizing is this isn’t a normal relationship, and I’m fucking ecstatic it isn’t. We have ten years of history. Some of it sad, some of it scary, but most of it beautiful. We’re not two people meeting for the first time, feeling this out, getting to know each other, and pussyfooting around. This is as real as it gets.”
“What if it goes bad?”
“It won’t.”
“I can’t lose you in my life.”
“You won’t.”