She followed with the peppers and deposited them on the set table, as well. Olivia’s high chair already stood between two seats. I mentally constructed a seating arrangement. Tony would sit at the head of the table—it just made sense, since he was the “man of the house”—and the two seats on either side of the high chair were clearly for us. Which left Mom and El-Mudad on the other side. She was going to sit next to him and judge him and transfer her judgy looks to me all through the meal. Fantastic.
I followed her back to the kitchen. “Hey, can I ask you something real quick?”
“Sure.” She transferred the pasta from a strainer into serving bowl.
“Please give El-Mudad a chance.” I waited for her to look up, with the exact expression of hardened dislike that I’d expected. “He’s really important to us, Mom. He’s a good friend, and his daughters are wonderful, and he was there for me through everything I went through with Neil... I just don’t understand why you’re so against him.”
“I’m not against him,” she said, practically an automated response. “And I don’t mind him coming here for family dinner. You know I love your friends. And that’s plural. Friends. How long has it been since you’ve seen Holli and Deja? They don’t come around anymore.”
“They just had a baby,” I protested. “And I saw Deja before the holidays. They have to go to all the family shit they used to skip. It’s part of having a kid.”
“I know what having a baby is, Sophie Anne,” Mom snapped. “I’m just concerned. You and Holli were very close, but now you’re too busy to have them out for dinner?”
“They’re busy, too,” I argued, though something funny happened in the pit of my stomach. I hadn’t even called Holli since before the holidays. “But you’re right, I could make more of an effort. El-Mudad isn’t the reason I haven’t seen them, though.”
Yes, he is. The truth wasn’t pretty, but there it was. I hadn’t bothered to call or visit my friends because I’d been so tied up in my new love. Holli and I had been through that with each other before. The last time, though, it had lined up pretty handily; she’d been lost in Deja while I’ll been losing myself in Neil.
“I’m just worried that now you’re living this new lifestyle with all this money and cars and houses and jewelry...and El-Mudad fits into that world.” Mom lifted her hands as though washing them of the whole subject. “I just don’t want you to replace your true friends with rich friends.”
“Mom, that’s not it. It really isn’t. Have I abandoned anyone else in my life because I’m rich now?” Maybe some of my relationships had changed, but I hadn’t ditched anybody.
“You haven’t abandoned anyone. But you seem to think that money and time are interchangeable.” She carried the bowl of noodles to the dining room and I followed her.
“That’s ridiculous.” I didn’t laugh at it, though.
“You threw a lavish party for Christmas at your estate,” Mom pointed out. “And you had your staff take care of us the entire time.”
“I wanted everyone to have a good time and be comfortable and get to see some stuff.” I hadn’t arranged everything the way I had because I’d wanted to avoid my family. “I thought it would help to stay organized.”
“You bought your grandma a trip to Ireland, but you sent me with her,” Mom added to the list of sins I’d apparently committed.
“And did you have a great time?” I demanded.
“She would have had a better time with you. You barely visit her anymore—“
“I visited last year!”
I’d raised my voice a little too much on that one. Neil entered the dining room and asked, “Is everything all right?”
“Everything is fine,” I said with a forced smile.
“Just getting food on the table,” Mom added. “Why don’t you let Tony and El-Mudad know that it’s ready.”
“Of course.” He gave me one last, wary glance before leaving again.
“Look,” Mom began, and when she started a sentence out that way, I knew it was going to be her final word on the subject. “I don’t think you’re a bad person, Sophie. And I know it has to be awfully hard to adapt to an entirely different world. I haven’t adapted to this big house and the fancy grounds and the frickin’ helicopter...it’s like Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, and I was never cut out for that. I certainly didn’t prepare you for it. And I can’t give you advice on it, now. But I don’t want to see you throw everyone from your old life away.”
If I could have just told my mother why El-Mudad wasn’t an equal-or-lesser-value substitution for Holli, maybe she would look at the situation differently. That was impossible, though. It was one thing for her to think I was trading my family and friends for money, but I suspected she would not be so gentle if she thought I was making over my social circle for the benefit of more kinky sex.