Or maybe I could. She already thought I was weird enough to randomly strike up a conversation like that with someone who barely tolerated me.
But El-Mudad’s situation with his ex-wife was much different than what Neil and I lived. Though he didn’t talk much about the way his marriage had dissolved, it was clear from El-Mudad’s circumspection about our relationship in the wake of his divorce that he had been cautious to not give Bijou ammunition with which to attack. He never said a harsh word against her, but he didn’t seem to trust her, either.
It was that need for caution that caused our current snag. Neil and I lived together while El-Mudad was missing. That didn’t work for any of us anymore.
“The guest house will be available as soon as my mom and Tony move out of it,” I reminded him.
“But you could move in with us earlier,” Neil suggested.
“Right, you really only need to be able to lie about the house thing when your daughters come to visit you,” I pointed out.
Neil cleared his throat. “I was thinking more along the lines of your mother and Tony leaving before the wedding. I’d be happy to help them do so if finances are presenting difficulty.”
I raised one finger in warning. “Watch it.”
“You’re right, Sophie. My daughters are the largest influence on my decision. I could come home with you from Venice, if not for my reservations about them.” He paused. “Which is why I suggested it was time for you to meet them. They’ll arrive on Christmas Eve.”
My heart stuttered.
“They’ll be coming in early in the morning. I know you’ll have guests here, but I hoped we could have brunch or…” He shrugged helplessly.
I glanced over at Neil. “There’s probably some way we can get away for an hour, right? Maybe you could set up a tour of the countryside or a quaint village or something?”
“Why would we need to set up a tour?” Neil asked with a frown. “My brothers will be perfectly happy to keep to themselves here, and they already know the area—”
“My family,” I interrupted him.
His expression changed to one of horror. Presumably, he imagined my family organizing a jug band in the grand ballroom and blasting holes in the ceiling when they discharged their shotguns into the sky.
“Right. Well, I’m sure they would love some kind of…” he waved his hands helplessly.
“Neil, don’t panic.” El-Mudad’s mouth tilted in a slow smile. “It’s not an audition. I just don’t want you both to be strangers anymore. It would come as a shock to learn years from now of a long term relationship I’d hidden from them.”
“Too right,” Neil agreed. “I hope you’ll let us consider your daughters our family, in the way we consider you a part of Olivia’s family.”
I wanted that, too, but I didn’t know how to express it without sounding like I was suggesting some kind of too-self-aware-to-be-hip reboot of The Brady Bunch.
“Then I think if your offer is still on the table...if things go smoothly when you meet the girls, I would like to come back to New York with you after we visit Venice.”
My heart pounded so hard it made my eyes pulse.
“You mean—” Neil began.
“I think this is it, loves. We’re finished being apart.”
I literally shrieked with joy as I jumped from my chair. El-Mudad was ready to catch me, standing so I couldn’t topple him. I clung to him; knowing he would stay this time made him feel more real to me than ever before. Neil was at our side in an instant, pressing his forehead against El-Mudad’s and whispering a tearful, “I love you.”
We stayed like that for a long time, just holding each other tight. We used to embrace that way out of desperation, wanting to make the contact last and last as though it could be stored up and used when physical distance separated us. Now, it was a luxury, not a need. We wouldn’t be parted from him again. Savoring it was so, so good.
When El-Mudad stepped back, his eyes were red and glazed with tears of joy. He seemed to remember where we were with a sudden blink. “I’m so sorry! You just arrived. You must be exhausted.”
“You’re trying to get us into bed,” Neil accused him with one of his adorable giggles. Being in love with Neil was wonderful; watching Neil in love with someone I loved only made me love him more.
I’d once seen photos from Neil’s first wedding. He’d looked at his ex-wife, Elizabeth, with such unabashed adoration that it had stung my heart even seeing the pictures a year after our own wedding. I’d thought the pain had come from seeing Neil in love with someone else, but it had been caused by the fact that I’d been seeing a version of Neil who wasn’t in love with me—at least, not in a way either of us could have reciprocated for each other at the time. The way he loved El-Mudad was different, because I knew both them shared that same love for me.