“You got caught up in the heat of the moment,” I said with a shrug, kicking the wilted, destroyed dress aside. “It happens. I still trust you.”
“But this is the first time we…” He looked down. “I feel like I’ve failed you.”
I laughed. Loudly. “Failed me? Do you realize how many times Neil and I have done something that accidentally hurt me or he did something I didn’t like without knowing it would bother me? It’s a part of this kind of relationship. You communicate and don’t repeat the same mistakes, and that bond gets stronger. You know that. You’ve done this before.”
“I have. But I’ve never come into an already established relationship like this. I don’t want to disappoint you.” He turned on the taps and waited a moment, only signaling me to step under the water when it was a comfortable temperature.
I took his hand and let him lead me under the rainfall showerhead. The water stung my back. I looked straight up and scrubbed my face with my hands; dried semen feels weird on skin, and I wanted it gone. Wiping the water from my eyes, I faced El-Mudad, again. “You’re not disappointing me. You did something in the heat of the moment. And now, you know that I don’t like it. You didn’t cause any permanent damage, and I was willing to go on. So, nobody had a bad time here.”
Though my legs were wobbly as Jell-o, I rose on the balls of my feet to kiss his cheek.
“I hope Neil feels the same way,” El-Mudad said, unable to meet my eyes. “If you had seen his face…I thought perhaps he hated me.”
“He doesn’t hate you. At all.” Maybe in that split-second, in his role as my Dom, seeing his sub in real trouble, he might have. But not as Neil Elwood, the man who loved El-Mudad. “You know what Neil has been through. Stuff can trigger strong reactions from him. But now that he knows I’m fine, he should be okay.”
“I’m perfectly fine,” his voice called from the door, startling us both.
“We were talking about you.” I didn’t know how much he’d heard.
“Yes, I know.” He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off then kicked his shoes aside. “Though, I’m not as worried about myself as I am about you, Sophie.”
I caught El-Mudad’s eye before he could look away. The pain and shame in him were far more than any they’d put me through tonight. I’d welcomed mine, though.
“I’m fine. I think El-Mudad is more shaken up than I am,” I said gently, silently imploring Neil not to be angry.
But I shouldn’t ever make assumptions about my husband. Disrobed the rest of the way, he stepped into the water with us and took El-Mudad in his arms. Holding El-Mudad’s chin with one hand, so he couldn’t look away, Neil said, “I could never hate you. I love you far too much to hold something like this against you.”
El-Mudad nodded, dropping his head as Neil crushed him close. I covered my mouth and nose with my hands, blinking back tears at the sight. It was only when I sniffled back my happy crying that Neil looked up.
“We need to get her back tended to,” he said, giving El-Mudad a manly slap on the back, made louder by their wet skin.
“Then, I want to go back to the house,” I said, before anyone could lure me into the comfy bed in the other room.
El-Mudad tilted his head in question.
“I want to spend our last night together at home. Our home,” I stated firmly.
We might not be able to live together all the time, but from now on, wherever we were together, we were home.
****
The morning came far too soon, and with it El-Mudad’s ride to the airport. It seemed unfair that the day should be as beautiful and sunny as when he’d arrived. It wasn’t that I wanted our parting to be sad and gray and dismal. I just wanted it to be different. We were different.
“I don’t suppose we could persuade you to stay?” Neil asked, only half-joking as we exited the car at the helipad.
El-Mudad smiled sadly. “There will be a time, one day, I hope, that I won’t ever have to leave you.”
“I look forward to that,” Neil said, and put his arms around El-Mudad. They kissed, ending only reluctantly when I cleared my throat. They put out their arms as I rounded the front of the car.
“I love you,” El-Mudad told us, with another kiss for me. “I’ll call when I arrive in Paris.”
“Please do,” Neil told him, and went to the trunk to retrieve El-Mudad’s scant luggage.
My heart lurched as El-Mudad took the bag and slung the strap over his shoulder. He looked like someone who was really leaving. I hated that.
“Maybe we could come visit you,” I blurted impulsively. “Around the holidays.”