I’d thought he was a nice guy who fell for the damsel in distress. He’d wanted to save me, but that wasn’t the case.
He did what he wanted. He was turned off for a year. He smoked pot. He drank. He stopped caring about sports. He rebelled from his life and what was expected of him—in that way, we weren’t the same.
No one had expectations of me.
Robbie does, I heard Willow remind me.
I sucked in some air, feeling moisture pooling at my eyes. Robbie. I hadn’t texted him all day.
He’s fine—stupidly happy at that school, but he’s worried about you. Send him a text. Let him know you’re fine, and then call him later.
I almost rolled my eyes, like I was going to take advice from a voice in my head. But I stood from the table. “I’m going to call Robbie.”
Ryan nodded. “Okay.”
I didn’t go far, just sat on the front step and pulled my phone from my pocket.
Texting Robbie, I waited for a response. There was none. I didn’t know his room number, so I called the school’s main number.
“This is Haerimitch Academy. How may we help you?”
It didn’t take long to be transferred to Robbie’s room, and a second later, I heard his voice.
“Hello?”
“I’m a horrible sister.”
He laughed. I could hear him brightening up. “Hey, terrible sister. I’m your terrible brother here.”
I snorted. “Why are you terrible? I’m the one who didn’t call to check in last night.”
“I’m terrible because I didn’t call to check in with you today.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“But I didn’t think about it.”
“Let’s cancel each other out so neither of us is terrible.”
He sounded happy, and I relaxed a little. Maybe the voice in my head was all-knowing somehow?
He’s happy to be away from the memories. Willow was sitting next to me.
Yeah, maybe. I spoke to her, but it wasn’t aloud. I kept that last safeguard from slipping further toward my insane side. I wasn’t talking to her as if she were a real person. She was a voice in my head.
Willow laughed. You’re such a dope. I’m not made up. You’re too chickenshit to admit it.
I ignored that, clearing my throat into the phone. “Tell me everything. I want to feel like I was there.”
Robbie laughed. He sounded like a kid there, like a young genius, eager to be challenged for once.
Good.
Maybe my parents got one thing right after all.
As long as Robbie was okay, I’d be okay.
I listened to him for the next hour, hearing about his roommate, his classes, his teachers. They were talking about testing him for college courses already, and I wasn’t surprised. My brother was damn brilliant.
He’s going to be fine there. He’s more worried about you. I ignored Willow again, but I could feel her smile as she added, Don’t give him reason, sis. He’ll blossom there.
As he should. Finally.
Toward the end of the call, he said, “Keep calling, Mac.”
He used her nickname too. My cheeks were starting to hurt from the smiling and the beaming and the whole trying-not-to-cry thing. Damn. That was work.
My throat was hoarse because of all the happiness. “I will.”
“You tell me how you are next time. Deal?”
“Deal.” I stuffed it down. He didn’t need to hear me being emotional. “When?”
“Um . . .” He was quiet a second. “Maybe Thursday? I talked to Mom and Dad. I’m going to stay here this weekend.”
“What?” I went rigid.
“There are a lot of others who stay, and they have weekend programs.” He sounded so sorry.
He’ll come home when he wants to. Trust the little Einstein. He knows what he’s doing. Don’t make him take on your shit. He’s eleven, not seventy.
I ignored her again, but Willow had a point.
“That sounds awesome. Maybe I should try to get in,” I teased. “Think they have a placement for older students? You could be my mentor.”
Robbie started giggling. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. “That’s silly, Mac.”
There. There was my little brother.
“Okay.” I felt like I could hang up. He was okay. “I’ll call on Thursday.”
“No. Let me call you. Some of us are going to create a video game, so I’ll call you when I get finished.”
My little brother: future creator, inventor, and computer hacker. I was so proud.
“Love you,” I told him.
He said the same, and after ending the call, I sat for a minute.
I had to get up. Someone would come looking for me, probably Ryan. The guy was taking me on as if he were my mentor instead of Robbie. He didn’t need to. I wasn’t like him. He had slipped away, and Peach feared she’d lose him again.
It made sense, but I wasn’t going to do that.
Right?
Or maybe I should pull away? Try giving him space, make him seek me out. Then it wouldn’t be me affecting him. It’d be him, his decision. I could do that, except . . . I couldn’t. Even thinking about it had a hard weight slamming into my chest.