Now, this I have to hear.
Nia's words, combined with the god's comment, make me panic, and I glare at my roommate right away, saying, "If you say one more word, I swear I'll find a way to make you spend time with me at the library—-"
Nia's eyes widen.
"Every day of the week!"
Spoilsport.
Nia makes a face. "Spoilsport."
"I mean it," I threaten. "Not another word." And just to make my point, I turn my back on Nia...which then turns out to be a huge mistake as I find myself squeezed right up against the god's naked body, and my lips pressed directly against his.
Chapter Sixteen
A kiss.
The thought makes my body stiffen and freeze even as my senses spiral out of control.
Even when I can't see this god's lips, it can't be anything other than a kiss, can it?
And his lips—-
They're soft and firm, his jaw hard and strong, and his breath deliciously hot and ticklish against my skin.
It really is a kiss, between this god and me, and it's at that moment when the shock finally wears off—-
Sweet Greek heavens, I'm kissing him!
I wrench my mouth off and try pushing him away, but his fingers are already curling around my waist and tightening—-
Shit.
The bed dips as the god hauls me close, and now there's not even a fraction of space between our bodies. Every muscular inch of him is in contact with my trembling figure, and oh, the way it's making me feel almost has me bawling like a stupid crybaby—-
Because it's beautiful, dammit.
Too, too beautiful for a girl and a god who knew each other for mere days—-
So, so beautiful that you know right away it's just the beginning—-
Even that stolen kiss, and now this feeling of closeness that my softness has molded against his strength—-
It's a precious, magical kind of beautiful that I would've loved to cherish.
But how can I when this god found it so easy to leave me, and—-shit, shit, shit, this can't be happening, but it already is—-
The sudden wetness of my cheeks is proof of it, and feeling his invisible fingers wipe them away only makes the hollow space in my chest twist into life like a gnawing monster of emptiness.
I hurt you.
Humiliation fills me at the heaviness I sense from his voice, and god or no god, I find myself mentally snarling, You disappeared on me without a word. How else did you think that would make me feel?
A harsh sound fills my mind, like the god expelling his breath with what feels like remorse.
Nothing. I thought you'd feel nothing.
He's honest, at least. It doesn't make him any less of a divinely stupid god, but yeah, he's honest at least, and I've always been able to count on him for that.
I thought I was doing you a favor. Because you said it yourself.
You never wanted to have anything to do with the divine—-
My fist strikes his invisible chest. I know what I said! And I was wrong! I was wrong, and you never gave me a way to tell you that! You never told me your name. Never showed me your face, never let me hear your voice—-
I keep waiting for him to stop me from beating him, but the god remains still as a statue, and his soundless voice strained when he answers.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
If he thinks those words are going to cut it, then he's out of his divine fucking mind. Do you know how much of my pride I had to swallow just to ask Nia how to summon you? Do you know how it made me feel to say out loud that the god who's kissed and touched me hasn't even trusted me—-
The sound of Nia standing up interrupts me, and I struggle to keep myself from making a sound as I hear my roommate moving around before finally leaving the room. The door shuts behind her, and the moment it does, the god suddenly lifts me up, and I find myself lying atop him, my face pressed against his chest.
I'm sorry.
Gods don't do apologies. It's just another Post-3rd fact we humans have learned to live with, and yet...
This god of mine just did, and tears start rushing down my cheeks.
I'm sorry.
His lips brush the top of my head in an achingly tender gesture, and the monster inside of me that feeds on emptiness starts to thrash. It doesn't want to be filled, but that's exactly what's happening. With every apology the god utters, the hollowness inside of me shrinks—-
I'm so sorry, moraki mou.
Emotions rush in, and the inner monster gasps its last dying breath. I no longer feel empty, my chest no longer hollow, and it terrifies me. Countless thoughts start swarming my mind as my fears grow. There are so many things I want to say. So many questions I want to ask. But in the end, all I can say is just one thing.