I yanked my arm away, scowling at her. “You don’t know what’s good for me. All you want is for me to stay in the house and cater to you.”
“Honey! That is ridiculous. If anything, I—”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” I warned, lifting a finger. “I called you here today because I wanted your support, not to hear you nagging. This is how it’s going to be from now on, Mother. You’ll be giving support, not just getting it. You will not pass judgment on me. You will be a mother. No longer my responsibility. Am I clear?”
She stared at me, blinking, and my heart clenched when I realized we were like a filtered mirror. I looked just like her. Same dainty build, delicate bones, and coiffed hair. Same lips and nose and naturally curled eyelashes.
But I was different. Strong. Resilient.
She touched her fingers to her cheek, sighing.
“You’re right. I did abuse your kind heart, Aisling. I didn’t want to believe it, but of course I did. You were so good, and I was so weak. I wasn’t used to people being good under my roof. Your father and Cillian are cold as ice. Hunter has the best intentions, but I never quite could worm my way into his heart. You were my rock. My everything. And losing you … I couldn’t imagine such a scenario. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I—” she stopped, bowing her head as her shoulders began to rock to the rhythm of her sobs. “I was the one who suggested your father should pay Sam extra not to get near you.”
An icicle pierced through my heart, and I took a deep, sudden breath, reaching for a nearby wall to try to right myself.
My mother continued, her eyes carefully staring at the floor.
“I saw the way you looked at him the first time you saw him. You must believe this wasn’t always about me, Aisling. I was thinking about you, too. He was too old, too dangerous, and too rough around the edges for a gentle-bred girl like you. But yes, in the spirit of honesty, I knew a man like that could scoop you with the same frightening ease you’d take Shelly out from her cage when you gave her baths. You were going to leave me all alone with your father in this big mansion, and I wasn’t ready for that. With each year that passed, I tried mustering the courage to tell you. To come clean. Selfishly, I couldn’t.”
I was fully aware that somewhere in my periphery, our friends and family were watching us, so I refrained from causing a scene. As it was, Hunter and Cillian looked on high alert, ready to pounce on Mother and take her away from me, knowing she had a talent for stealing the limelight, no matter the situation.
Despite the initial shock and deep sense of betrayal, Dr. Doyle was right. There was nothing to be done about our pasts. The only way was forward. I could let what my mother did define our relationship or reinvent it.
And standing there, while Sam was in the operating room, hanging in the balance between life and death, everything was crystal clear to me.
If you loved somehow, you had to give them a second chance.
Not for them.
For you.
I took a step toward her, tilting my head up regally.
“I forgive you, Jane, not because you deserve it, but because I don’t deserve to live the rest of my life motherless because of your mistakes. You are going to make it up to me, though. Big time. You can start by bringing all of us coffees and pastries. The Brennans haven’t eaten all day, and I’m famished.”
She nodded, wiping her face quickly, sniffling.
“Will do. Right away. Oh, Aisling, thank you so much.” She grabbed my hands and squeezed them. “I will not let you down, love. You will see.”
She ran toward the elevators on her high heels, ignoring the disturbed glares of onlookers.
I was choosing me now.
Me … and the man I loved.
It had been six hours since I’d arrived at the hospital, and there was still no word from the operating room. I knew no news wasn’t necessarily bad news. It meant they were still working hard to save his life. I also knew that it didn’t matter.
I was dangerously close to a massive heart attack.
Nurses and doctors rushed in and out of the room, wearing bloodied uniforms and grave frowns. I shamelessly pounced on them, demanding answers, but they shook me off every time.
The waiting room thickened with people. At first, I failed to notice it, too wrapped up in running all possible scenarios and outcomes to Sam’s condition in my head, but now, lifting my gaze from my lap, I saw it.
Troy, Sparrow, Cillian, Hunter, Devon, my parents, and Sailor were here now, together but alone, each of us shaken to the core.