I slap myself across the face. Snap out of it, Des! I lived with the Hellions for years, and not one of them had my body strung so tightly I felt like one rub would have me screeching like a violin’s strings. What is it about Ethan ‘Hammer’ McCoy that has me wanting to be pounded?
I strive for professionalism.
I make sure every day I stay covered. I’ve seen the hard on he gets when we work out. He isn’t ashamed, and honestly with what he’s packing he shouldn’t be. I just don’t want him to feel like I’m a tease. When I know Hammer is in his room for the night, I change into my night clothes. His couch isn’t nearly as comfortable as a bed, but it is one nice damn sofa.
I look up at the ceiling from my perch on the toilet. This is something Suzie would fall into. I have a serious case of insta-lust. I don’t know how many guys she brought home, swearing it was true love when it was nothing more than damn good sex.
Tears fill my eyes. Suzie, is that what got you in this situation?
I miss my sister, my life. I miss knowing what will happen next. And I miss little things like being able to go to the grocery store. The Regulators have been good about doing shopping and making sure I have anything I need or want, but there is something about picking your own produce that suddenly feels liberating. Too often, my mind worries over what the future holds rather than giving my all to the here and now with Hammer.
It is my fault he got hurt tonight. I’m supposed to be helping him make progress. He stays tense, though; his flexibility is hindering his mobility.
Settling on the couch, I pull out my notebook and adjust his care plan. I asked for this. I asked the Hellions to find a way to get me out. This is my new reality. I need to give it my all and not dwell on the things I can’t change.
Nothing will bring Suzie back. Nothing will change what those monsters did to my sister. Nothing will fix the fear I will forever live with. For that reason, I will focus on the things I can do.
I can help Hammer. His injury is not permanent, and I can help him see he can come back stronger than ever before. I can help him see his accident not as a weakness, but rather a challenge to overcome. I can help the man in the room beside me. Starting tonight, he gets my all.
Chapter
11
One Month Later
~Hammer~
Des swears by a schedule, so we need to keep one. It is all for control. I get it, though. If she follows this rigid plan, she can’t get lost in her head. I may not know everything about her past yet, but what I do know is not something she needs to think about all the time. I know what it’s like to lose a loved one—fucking brutal. And from what I can tell, she was just as close to her sister as I was to my dad. This is why I don’t give her shit about the schedule she keeps us on, even if there are days I have to fight the urge to tell her to take a damn chill pill.
In her defense, all of the workouts are paying off. Day by day, I feel stronger from the waist down. She even has me taking steps, sometimes even unassisted. I just can’t go far. I get around with a walker when I can, trying to build my hips and legs back up.
Tank named her appropriately. I swear she gets her rocks off from seeing if she can break me. It’s okay, though. The little pretty has gotten sweaty with me as much as I have gotten hard for her.
I have to admit this has to be my favorite exercise: the supine hamstring stretch. Desirae has me lying on the living room floor while she pushes my legs straight up in the air one at a time and then backward a bit toward my chest to stretch out my hamstrings. The maneuver puts her between my legs, her chest pressed into the raised leg and her core pressing near my swollen cock. Now, if only I could get her to take off that baggy T-shirt and shorts, get naked, and climb up onto my lap instead of trying to press my leg into it…
“What’s wrong, Hammer? Can’t take the burn?” she taunts me.
My willpower is crumbling away. I’m starting to think it’s only a matter of time before I give in to my darker urges regarding the tempting, little morsel who is trying to torture me at the moment.
“I never knew one of the requirements to be a physical therapist is to be a sadist.”