I snatch a drink from a passing waiter and slam it down my throat. I don’t even know what it was. It doesn’t help to calm me down.
“Sweetheart.” Mother holds my upper arms firmly to look into my eyes. “I have never seen you look so beautiful. That dress, the colors—but not just that. Your eyes, your smile. You’re a changed woman. I’m so proud of you.”
“But—”
“Now now,” Father shakes his head, stepping forward to rub my back. “I know you’re nervous about this kinky thing—what is it?”
I almost die on the spot hearing my father say, ‘kink thing.’
“Ah, yes. Got it. Shi-bar-ee.”
I nod uncertainly.
“It’s quite beautiful, isn’t it? I mean, not for the faint of heart, but—” His eyes trail up on to the wall, where images from the magazine are cycling through. My photos, my ties. My Roxy.
“Well. All I want to say is, if it makes you happy, you should go for it. I always knew you were holding yourself back. Now I know why.”
He steps up and puts an arm around my waist while Mom gets on my other side. Both of them squeeze me tight.
“Don’t hold back for anything, ever.” Dad whispers. “Look at all this, just look! You did it all. Whatever you need to make a happy life, go ahead and do it. I’m just sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t be yourself.”
Now I am crying. I can feel the tears running down my cheeks. I start sniffing and I know, this is it, my makeup is ruined.
“I love seeing you so happy sweetheart.” Mum gives me an even tighter hug. “I mean, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy explaining this at the church picnic, but—”
I burst out laughing, the stress finally reaching a point where that’s all I can do. Roxy is released by my brother and sister to run over to me and she throws herself into my arms.
When our lips come together, the night fades away. I can feel my family surrounding us with love and this, this is more than I could have ever asked for.
I was too afraid to ask for it. Too scared to go for it. I needed Roxy to smash into my life with the force of a freight train to make me change my life.
Maybe I needed her more than she needed me.
But that doesn’t matter anymore.
Because we’re together now. And we always will be.