“As fun as that sounds, it will have to wait for another night.”
“Oh yeah? Why, are you in a hurry?”
I give her a meaningful look before I get up to pay the bill.
“Yes, actually. I just got into a serious relationship with a beautiful woman, and I can’t wait to take her to bed.”
The old man at a nearby table chokes on his food and glares at me. Roxy starts laughing so hard she snorts, too. As I go to pay, I can’t stop smiling, every moment threatening to unleash my chuckles.
I’ve never had so much fun in my life. I never knew life could be so fun. I’ve been missing out on so much.
Time to make up for it. I want every moment filled with moments like this.
And Roxy. Always and forever.
Roxy.
Thirty
Roxanne
On the way home in the cab I can’t stop touching her. From holding hands to trailing my fingertips up her arm, I just want to explore her. That first night we spent together had a kind of frantic energy to it. Both of us were desperate for release.
We didn’t even know if we could trust. Our hearts and bodies had decided for us, even though our minds were not yet made up.
That put urgency and intensity into our lovemaking, but I didn’t get much chance to really adore her. Most of the sex I’ve experienced has been more about lust and satisfaction than intimacy and I’m only just now realizing this.
Helen holds my hand gently, her eyes glinting in the dark. She leans back into the seat and stares at me as if she never wants to look away.
“You’re so beautiful, Roxy.” Her voice comes out as a sigh. “Why do you try to hide it?”
This causes a painful twist in my chest. “You can’t walk around looking like fresh meat when you’re on the street. You need to look tough even for the girls. Heavy boots take you further when you need to walk and help you out even more if you need to run. The tougher you look, the less you get hassled.”
Just saying the words brings up some pretty terrible memories. Instead of dwelling on them and letting them drag me down, I scoot across the seat and put my arms around Helen.
“Speaking of clothes, does this new Helen get a new wardrobe?”
She laughs. “Maybe.”
“Come on. I’d love to see you in color.”
“You haven’t seen my kink gear.”
“Well.” I reach up to kiss her. “I can’t wait for that.”
In the shimmering darkness, we fall together. Her arms go around me, so strong, warm and safe. The press of her body thrills me. I know that something is happening to me. I’m opening up like never before and even though there is trust and faith, it’s still pretty fucking scary.
Because the essence of this moment is that faith. No matter how much love and trust you feel, giving your heart is an act of pure courage. No one knows what tomorrow brings. Throwing it out there is a shout to the universe that you are going for it, no matter the consequence.
We are so lost in each other the cabbie has to bang on the seat to get our attention. He doesn’t look annoyed, just amused. Helen pays him and we jump out together, wrapping our arms around each other to walk up to her place.
I just can’t stop kissing her. The trip upstairs flows by almost without me noticing. All I can see is Helen. When she finally gets her door open and we fall through I think I’m going to have to take her right there just like I did last time.
But no. I have different plans tonight. I want to see my girl all tied up.
I cup her face gently, brushing my lips across hers.
“Helen. Can I tie you?”