Alex looks as though he’s been handed the moon on a plate. I never let him play with my phone because we definitely can’t afford to replace it if he should break it.
“What if he accidentally texts someone or puts something on social media?” I ask Ashley in a low voice. I don’t think Alex would mess around with ‘boring’ apps, but even so it’s a very personal thing to trust to a four year old.
“Honey, it won’t be anything worse than stuff I’ve posted while drunk.” Ashley pulls over the luxurious leather desk chair and settles it so she’s sitting on my other side. “Let’s get down to brass tacks, as my nana used to say!”
We’re briefly interrupted as a young woman with lovely purple fingernails delivers two pizzas oozing with cheese and a bottle of chocolate milk with a long straw in it. A young man with matching nails follows after her with a smaller pizza and a tray with four brightly coloured cocktails on it.
Alex lights up when he sees the chocolate milk. “Is’t for me?”
“Sure is, little buddy,” Ashley says easily, grabbing a plate of pizza and taking a huge bite that leaves strings of cheese hanging from the corner of her mouth. “If you don’t like it just let me know and I can get you something else.”
“I like it, I like it!” He takes the bottle quickly and perches like a little bird on the couch, drinking happily.
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him quite this happy before.
The pizza is hot and amazing, some of the best I’ve had. I haven’t eaten since the breakfast I rushed down while trying to find my car keys, so I try to eat in as ladylike a manner as possible while balancing a plate on my knee and trying to juggle two cocktails.
“So,” Ashley says, leaning back languidly on her chair. “What’s your thoughts? How do we bring Robin and Emily to life?”
“Well, I can definitely act.” I did a lot of drama group in college and my director was very into ‘understanding’ the character so I don’t doubt I can pull off a posh society lady. “And I can act like we’re in love. But I don’t want to drape all over you or be groped or anything like that.”
“Yeah of course, no groping. But we might need to kiss for the part, how about that?”
I think about it and then nod seriously. “If it’s necessary then I can understand that. Okay, but only in public. Nothing like that in private, right?”
“Of course.”
“And,” I lower my voice and lean towards her. “No sex, all right?”
I swear she’s trying not to laugh at me as she leans closer in turn and whispers back, “No sex at all, gotcha.”
This must not be a conversation she finds herself having a lot. She’s gorgeous, sexy and confident with an amazing body and this presence that money can’t buy. How did I end up in the position where this woman is going to pretend to be dating me?
She’s so powerful and graceful, like a panther prowling through a forest. I’m more like a chirpy little bird who doesn’t know how to build a nest that doesn’t leak. Is there any way that a woman like her would be interested in me if we didn’t need each other to solve our problems?
As we finish up our meals, I notice that there’s a splotch of red sauce on my shirt and I think the words ‘oh I’ll need to change that before we go out’ before my world crashes into panic. I don’t have any clothes. I have literally zero clothes here.
I need to pretend to be a wealthy socialite without a change of clothes and I’m in my
most matronly store outfit that makes me look like I want to be a librarian! I might be a good actress but even the best actress in the world couldn’t make this look like the kind of woman who would date a multi millionaire.
My expression must show my dismay because Ashley leans forwards and puts a hand on my arm. “Hey, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I don’t have any clothes,” I stammer. “I certainly wasn’t planning on going on a two week holiday this morning. And now I’ve stained my shirt and I’m going to give the whole game away before we’ve even started.”
Ashley laughs softly, a warm sound that makes me shiver. “Is that it? Don’t even worry. I’ll take you both shopping right this second and get you properly kitted out.”
“Really?”
“Of course, this was my idea wasn’t it?” She grins and rummages through the brochures that bell man gave her. “Let’s see if there’s a list of shops that are on board. What do you say, little buddy, want to go shopping?”
I’m not sure Alex has been shopping in his life but you wouldn’t know it from the delighted cheer he gives.
I’m left staring as a millionaire starts calling out store names to my four year old nephew so he can veto them if he doesn’t like the sound of them. It’s the strangest day that I’ve ever lived through. I pull out my phone and open the group chat to find a bunch of concerned messages from the girls.
‘All is well,’ I type back. ‘Met someone who is sharing a booth for me. Not going to be back for a few weeks? I’m not sure I’m not dreaming, but if I’m not then sorry Rachel I won’t be at work for a bit.’
Immediately my phone starts dinging with message alerts but I shut it off and put it in my pocket. If I’m going to live the dream then I might as well fully enjoy it. I pull Alex into my lap so we can both see the picture of the shops and we start voting in earnest.