“I heard she’s some kick ass secret agent and got sent on a mission to assassinate the leader of a terrorist organization that’s planning to destroy the world.”
“Oh my god!” Heather gasps in mock horror, as we both turn to look at Cody. “Where in the world did you hear something like that?”
Cody pulls her beanie down lower over her ears, and shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly. “Oh, you know. People
talk.”
“What people?” Asks Jess as she sidles up beside me.
“People.” Cody insists, her gaze bouncing between the three of us. “You all don’t think I do anything around here, but I hear everything. I’m privy to all the ins and outs of this place.”
“I could go for some ins and outs right about now,” says Abbie wiggling her eyebrows up and down. I hadn’t noticed her walk over.
“That was terrible, Abbie.” Jess tries to scold, but the giggles bubbling from her lips dull the admonition.
“Thank you, I try.” Abbie replies.
“Maybe Lucille had a secret lover, and she got a call that her lover passed away in a tragic accident. Now her heart is irreparably broken. She’ll never love again, doomed always to wonder, what if,” Jess exclaims with all the drama and intensity only a writer can possess.
“I bet,” Heather begins, but is interrupted as Rachel appears at the counter.
“Ladies, I’m sure there’s some kind of work you could be doing instead of standing around the register gossiping like a bunch of old hens.” There’s a twinkle in her eye as she says this, and I get the feeling that it’s more about giving Lucille her privacy than anything else.
“It’s just that no one really knows much about her,” says Heather.
“If she wants us to know, then she’ll tell us. In the meantime, we have plenty of work to keep us busy,” Rachel states.
I follow her as she heads past the register to her office. “Rachel, can I speak with you for a minute?”
“Sure, love, come on in.” She motions for me to follow her into the office.
“Don’t come too hard.” Abbie’s voice trails behind me. “Or do,” she giggles.
I look back to see Jess swat Abbie’s arm playfully. “You are so bad.”
“That girl. I don’t know what I’m going to do with her,” Rachel says as she closes the door behind us.
“I just wanted to remind you that I need to leave in between kids’ corner readings so I can pick up Liam and Lucas from school.”
“That’s fine.” She must notice the uncertainty on my face, because she adds, “How are you holding up?”
“I’m good,” I lie.
“I know it can’t be easy. Having your life turned completely upside down. It’s a big job raising kids. Even when you’ve had time to plan ahead, it can take a toll mentally and physically. When you don’t have any preparation time and they’re just dropped in your lap suddenly…” She lets the sentence hang in the air, unfinished.
“We’ll be okay,” I whisper.
“If you need any help, please don’t hesitate to ask. We’re all here for you.”
“Thank you,” I say, but I don’t want to unload my problems on her. She has her own set of struggles to deal with. All of us here at the bookstore are struggling in one way or another. It wouldn’t be fair for me to burden the others with my mess of a life.
As the kids filter into the shop, their happy faces and laughter send slices of pain through my chest. I can’t help but to envy the mothers and nannies that come in with them. They all appear so happy, so unburdened. None of them are struggling the way I am.
Four
Lucille
D riving back to the bookstore, I feel like I’m on autopilot. Shock doesn’t even begin to describe the emotions warring within me after the meeting with the lawyers.