Heather
In the middle of a steamy yet unwelcome dream featuring a dark-haired woman with sparkling brown eyes, my alarm blares and wakes me. I groggily pull the sheets over my head, silently pleading for five more minutes.
Some time later when the sun begins to beat down on my face, I finally pull myself into a sitting position. I rub my eyes and reach for my phone, nearly dropping it when I take note of the time.
"Shit!" I overslept by an entire hour. Running around the room like a madwoman, I rush to pull on some clothes and brush my teeth.
Finally shaking away the dream about Rafaela, I brew some coffee and dial the number for work.
Rachel picks up after only one ring, and she's raging. "Heather where the heck are you, I'm drowning in work here!"
"I'm so sorry, I couldn't sleep last night and Emma took a while to settle down. I'll be there I promise."
"How many times have I heard that before?" Rachel pauses, and I hear her trying to calm an angry customer in the background.
"I'll leave the house in ten minutes max. Just have to get my daughter up and ready."
The customer in the background begins to yell, and Rachel calls Sara in to help though it's not her job. "I can't get the shop's accounts to balance, and the landlord is giving us Hell again about the rent going up. I don't need the additional stress of wondering whether or not you're coming to work every day!"
Her comment hits me the wrong way and my cheeks redden with anger. "None of that is my fault!"
"Maybe that would be true if you showed up for once!" Rachel huffs, the sounds of the store's chaos diminishing as she hurries into the back room.
My brows knit and I can't believe the words I'm hearing. "Maybe I'd show up if I didn't have endless bills, a young child, and nobody to help me out with her at home!"
Silence echoes from the other line, and I toss my half-empty coffee cup into the sink. I'm in no mood for it at the moment.
"Look Rachel, I'm trying my best." Tears sting at my eyes as the frustration builds. I really do want to be a good employee, but it's harder than it seems.
The owner of the book shop takes a deep breath before continuing. "I know you are. I'm sorry for getting upset with you, there's just a lot going on here and we need your help."
I feel as if I'm fighting with a sister. We really do care about each other, and I understand her point of view. "I'm sorry too, after I get Emma ready I'll be right in."
"Maybe you're right. Maybe you do have too much going on." The way she says it concerns me, and I suddenly feel the need to backtrack on my previous point.
"Well, it's not so much that I can't handle it, I just need a break once in a while." The free childcare at work is a perk, but caring for Emma alone at home can be difficult.
Rachel misunderstands my point completely, and says something that makes my heart drop. “I agree, I think the best thing for the both of us right now would be a break.”
My breathing becomes ragged as I practically watch my job slipping away. “What do you mean?”
She takes a moment to think, most likely wondering how to say whatever she’s thinking so she doesn’t offend me. “You should take some time off. Don’t worry, your job will still be here when you return, but just think of it as a mandatory vacation.”
I can tell that she’s trying to put my health and sanity first, but I don’t need a break. I need my job. “That won’t be necessary, just let me come in today and we can talk about it then.”
“No Heather,” Rachel’s voice is firm but empathetic. “Please just take a few weeks for me. Once you come back refreshed, you’ll feel so much better and your work performance will naturally improve.”
“That’s completely unnecessary. Trust me I can handle the job, it’s just the other problems that are causing me stress.” My voice gets louder and I groan when Emma begins to stir in her room.
“Honey it’s not a suggestion.” I hear Sara calling for her assistance, and Rachel promises to come to her rescue soon. “Look, just the time off, and contact me when you’re ready to commit to coming in on time.”
I’m so overwhelmed that I hang up without thinking. Regret pulses through my veins and I don’t know why I didn’t fight harder. There’s no way I’m going to be able to pay my bills now.
As I’m wallowing in my own self pity, my baby begins to cry. Her soft sobs drift down the hallway and into the kitchen, and I soon find myself crying as well. When she was born I promised her I’d always provide for her, but it looks like I just broke that vow.
“Mommy!” Emma begins to wail like she always does when she’s cranky, and I rest my face in my hands. I can’t do this alone.
I debate calling Rachel back and begging her to reconsider. She and I are good friends, and one little fight shouldn’t derail everything we’ve worked for at the book store. After all, there’s no way I’ll be able to find a temp job while trying to care for Emma at the same time.