Cody comes to check up on me and I ask her to shut the shop down for today. It’s a bad move and we need all the patrons we can get, but I don’t think I can deal with anything else for a while. I’m so tired and strung out.
When Cody reappears, she doesn’t take my pleading to be left alone for an answer. She drags me out into the shop front and tears threaten to fall from my eyes when I see what the girls have done. They’ve closed the shop and created a pillow fort in the children’s section, with steaming mugs of hot chocolate just waiting for us.
“Thanks girls,” I whisper as Cody guides me to sit down next to Abbie.
Abbie hugs me gently and Candy hands me a mug. Jess heads over to us and sits down on Cody’s other side, brandishing takeout menus.
“We’ll have a nice, quiet evening and eat a whole mountain of food. And then tomorrow is a new day.”
“Yeah, hopefully with no kidnappings!” Abbie chimes in, and despite myself I manage a small smile.
“You were all really great today guys. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” I say, swallowing hard as I look around at the little bookstore family.
We’re all so close, even the girls who aren’t here right now. I always try so hard for them, and I know just how hard they work for me too.
“You know, we wouldn’t be here without you either.” Cody says quietly. The other girls nod vigorously, and Cody takes a sip of hot chocolate before continuing.
“Well you know I haven’t had a home since I got kicked out and it’s hard sometimes, just living on people’s couches and never having any space of my own. It’s such a huge relief every day when I get to come in here and do something I love, with awesome people. And I’ve almost got enough to rent my own place!”
Candy squeezes her hand before taking up the buck. “Yeah and I’ve had to pay the rent all alone since my roommate upped and left without a word. I’m trying to find someone to take over the lease but it’s not easy finding someone who wants to share a tiny flat in a dodgy neighborhood, especially when you throw a baby into the mix. I’d be so screwed without this job.”
Abbie and Jess hasten to add their own reassurances at how much the bookstore means to them, how much they rely on it. How much they rely on me.
They’re trying to be supportive, and I appreciate it all, but I’m feeling the pressure even more now. All these girls are relying on me in order to provide for themselves, and their families, and I’ve just gone and thrown money away because I was offended.
How could I have been so stupid?
I excuse myself, smiling in what I hope is a reassuring way in response to their looks of concern, and head to the office. I’m freaking out and have to take a few deep breaths to steady myself. I’m tempted to crumble under the immense responsibilities I’ve taken on, but I know what I’m going to have to do.
It doesn’t mean I like it.
I scroll through the registration details for the kids who come to story time until I reach Ana’s name, and find the emergency number her nanny gave when they first started coming to the readings. I dial the number, crossing my fingers and hoping that it will be Tiffany who picks up.
“Tiffany Wake. I’m afraid I’m rather busy right now. I can call you back or if it’s business related, call my business line and you can arrange a meeting or call back with my assistant.”
“Tiffany. Wait. It’s Rachel, from the bookstore.”
I pause awkwardly, and there a silence that forces me to expand further. “You know, we met earlier. The whole thing with Ana…” I trail off, unsure how to continue.
“Yes, Rachel, of course I remember you. Forgive me, I wasn’t expecting your call.” Tiffany makes a much smoother recovery than I would, and I swallow hard as I try to forget how icy and beautiful she is.
“No that’s okay. I wasn’t expecting to call.” I laugh self-consciously and am glad when she joins in too.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry, Tiffany. I’m sorry I got angry and turned down your really very generous offer.”
“Oh, that’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry I gave you the impression that I thought you were only after cash, and I really am so grateful for what you’ve done for us.”
We both laugh awkwardly again. The silence is too much to bear, but she breaks it before I can.
“You know, the offer still stands. If you want it.” Her offer is tentative this time, and I can’t help but smile.
“I… I’d rather not be paid for doing the decent thing and saving a child.” Even as I say it, I groan inwardly. I need the money, so why can’t I just accept it? What was even the point of this call?
“How about a different kind of deal?” Tiffany says suddenly.
“What do you mean?” I reply, curious now.
“Instead of me just giving you money, how about you work for me instead? Listen, that nanny was useless and it’s proving harder than I thought to find a new one. I just need someone to take care of Ana for me when I’m at my meetings and trying to organize this damn conference.”