Caspian takes another step back, and I can feel him slipping further away from me.
“Your father? Enrico Carini?”
I nod. “He was the one who raped her. He broke her.”
“He killed her?”
I swallow, trying to keep the words from leaving my mouth, but he has to hear them. He has to know the truth.
“No, I killed her.”
19
Caspian
Gia couldn’t have killed Clara. It’s not possible. Gia has to be lying or misunderstanding what happened. I know Gia’s past is dark, but she couldn’t have killed an innocent woman.
“No,” I say.
Tears stream down her pink cheeks. Whatever happened, I can forgive Gia. I love her. I almost lost her to Dante again. I won’t let her go again.
I force my legs forward toward her to show my support. She needs to know there is nothing she can say to make me leave her.
“I remember Clara. She was a beautiful, strong, innocent woman. She loved life, but my father broke her almost instantly. She was so fragile, so naïve that it was easy for him to break her.
“I thought I could help her. So one night after father had gone to bed, I snuck into her room. I couldn’t sneak her out; her body was too broken to run. And I couldn’t lift her on my own. But I could bring her a weapon. I couldn’t kill my father myself, but she could. She just needed the gun.
“So I provided her one. But she was too far gone to keep fighting. She just wanted the pain to end.”
She doesn’t continue, instead, her voice cracks. Clara used the gun to end her life and her suffering. I don’t blame Clara for what she did. I couldn’t rescue her, and she didn’t grow up in the world that Gia did. Clara didn’t have the same fight that Gia has.
Rage and pain hit me again. And I have nothing and no one to take it out on.
“I need revenge.”
“Enrico is gone. He’s already dead.”
I turn, needing to find something to take out my anger on.
She races in front of me. “Take it out on me. I deserve it. I never should have given her the gun in her condition.”
I look away. I can’t look at her. It hurts too much.
She grabs my face and turns me toward her. “Take out your revenge on me.”
“I can’t. The last time we did, one of us almost died.”
She wipes her tears. “It’s worth the risk if it means I have a shot at keeping you.”
She’s right. It’s worth the risk.
She smiles weakly at me and then walks to the bed and lies down offering her body to me.
This room is filled with the darkest of items. Items I could use to destroy her. But it’s not what I want.
I want rough. I want fast. And I want to know if we can find love in the dark. Or if we are meant to wander this world apart.
I grab her body and rip her pants until she is naked.