“You can’t forgive me.”
She smiles carefully. “I just did. You don’t get to tell me how I feel. I forgive you. I can’t understand what you’ve been through. I’ve never lost someone like that, but I’ve experienced pain and if there were something I could do to make that pain lessen for someone I love, then I would. Even if it meant hurting someone else.”
I grab her neck and kiss her firmly on the lips, sucking all the air from her.
“How can you be this perfect?” I ask against her lips.
She kisses me again, needing our lips together. “I’m no more perfect than you are. We are just kindred spirits, both searching for the same thing. Revenge.”
I devour her lips now. I need to be inside her as quickly as possible. She needs the same thing. Her hands are at the waistband of my pants, trying to push them off.
I rip her panties down and push inside her without waiting to see if she is ready for me or not. From her wince, her body wasn’t prepared, but her moans and clawing on my back tell me she doesn’t care. Her soul can’t wait.
I rock in and out of her, gripping her tightly as I fuck her. But I’m not just fucking her. There is something different happening, but I can’t find the word to describe it. Because no word can describe the connection between us. No matter what happens next, it’s unbreakable.
“What was her name?” Gia asks, and that’s when I realize what’s happening. This is for my wife. For a connection I had with a woman that was stolen from me too soon. A woman I never deserved. Whatever beautiful connection is happening now is because of her.
“Clara Conti.”
Gia pauses for a second, honoring her, and then she kisses me hard on the lips. And I fuck her like tomorrow might never come. And it might not.
I don’t know how this ends with Gia and me. How am I going to give her up? Because I can’t keep her.
16
Gia
Caspian told me his darkest secret, but I can never tell him mine. I forgave him. He would never forgive me.
Everything has changed since I killed Roman. We’ve been home a week, and it’s almost like we are a normal couple. We don’t talk about me leaving, or giving me my freedom anymore. I already have my freedom. I got it the day he tracked down Roman for me to kill and then let me keep the gun. Any time I want to use it to leave, I could.
But I don’t want to leave.
Caspian’s home is becoming my home. His desires are becoming mine. We both want the same thing.
Revenge on Dante Russo.
We want him to hurt as much as possible, and then when he’s done hurting, we want to kill him.
We don’t talk about it. Instead, we talk about normal things. The weather, food, drinks, our day. But it’s always on our minds. Even when we are fucking.
Our desire for revenge is too strong for anything else. And I’m tired of not talking about it. Once it’s done, then we can focus on what the hell we are doing together. What our
future could hold. Until it’s over, we are trapped in our revenge.
At one point revenge was my freedom, but now I’m afraid it’s starting to hold me back.
Caspian is sitting outside on his computer. He usually sits there after dinner, soaking in the last drops of sunlight on his computer. I usually sit next to him reading a book. But today, I helped Michi clean up the dishes first. So when I finally join Caspian outside, the sun has all but set.
“You ready to go inside?” he asks when I join him.
“No.”
He glances up from his computer, sensing the trepidation in my voice.
“When are we going to kill Dante?” I ask. I know he has a plan, he just hasn’t shared it with me yet.
He closes his computer, and I’m afraid he’s closing our conversation.