I nod. “I’ll go.”
He’s right. I need to put an end to whatever this is that’s going on between Killian and me. I turn to leave, but his words stop me.
“There’s one more thing you should know before you make a decision. If you refuse to marry Killian, the money is gone. I control the trust your father left you. You will have nothing but a theater degree to find you work. I’ll call everyone and tell them never to hire you as a model again. You are doing this, or you are no longer my granddaughter. If you walk away from this, you are no longer a Felton.”
Those are the words that will haunt me for the rest of the day. They are the words that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
“You are no longer a Felton.”
I wish they were true. I wish I were never born a Felton.
I’d thought my future was completely out of my control. I was wrong.
My grandfather just gave me control. I just don’t like my choices.
I don’t wear the cream-colored dress lying on my bed when I get back to my hotel room. It’s a beautiful dress, one that I’m sure my grandfather spared no expense to get for me. But I’m not wearing it. I don’t know if it’s because he chose it or if it’s because it’s an act of defiance to wear anything but that dress. It’s possibly my last act of defiance. I don’t know if it’s because I can’t stand to wear any color that resembles a wedding gown. I don’t know if it’s because I had a beautiful red dress that I love and haven’t had an occasion to wear it to. Whatever the reason, I chose red.
I chose this red ballgown. I don’t know what it means. I’m no closer to deciding if I’m going to say yes or no when Killian asks me. And I know he’ll ask me. That’s what tonight is about. That’s why I’m wearing this pretty dress. That’s why I’ve spent hours fixing my long blonde hair. That’s why I’ve spent hours covering my face in makeup.
Tonight is the night I decide the rest of my life. I just don’t know what future that will be.
I hear the knock on the door. I glance at my phone. It’s eight on the dot. Killian’s on time tonight. I peek through the hole in the door and see him dressed in a tux. I take a deep breath, and then I open the door.
I watch him lick his lips as his eyes travel over my body. I hold my breath, trying to calm my beating heart, but it doesn’t slow. His eyes catch mine, and it’s not a look of lust peering back at me although a hint of that is still there. It’s a look I’ve never seen come from his eyes, and I have no idea what it means.
For a second, I imagine that this is how it feels when you are in love, and you know tonight is the night—the night your life will change forever, the night he will get down on a nervous knee and ask you to marry him.
If only I could find someone who would do this for real…
If only he were doing this for more than a promotion…
If only I were doing this for more than family loyalty…
He regroups himself and puts a fake smile on his lips. “I wasn’t sure you would answer.”
I return his fake smile. “I wasn’t sure you would come.”
“You didn’t return my calls.”
“I deleted the voice mails.”
He sighs. “We have a lot to talk about.”
I nod, but I don’t say anything. I give him no indication of how I feel, of how I will answer when he asks—not that I even know myself.
He sighs again. “Let’s go, princess.”
We walk out of the hotel and casino without saying a word. I don’t say a word until we make it out onto the street where I see a horse and carriage waiting for us.
I gasp when I see it. I wasn’t expecting anything like it.
“I thought you deserved the full princess experience.”
I smile as he helps me into the carriage before climbing in next to me. I really do feel like a princess in this thing. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing though. I’m not sure I like being a princess. A princess, I’ve realized, has no control over her life. Her life is to her country, to her family. It’s just like how I live my life for the company, for my family.
I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting effort from a man who was just doing this because he had to. I was expecting dinner and a proposal. But I’m afraid he’s put more effort into it than that.
The carriage takes us down the main strip and then turns off, moving us throughout the city. I have no idea where we are going. I’m not sure I care. I’m lost in this perfect moment.