“We will both have a glass of Chateau Margaux Bordeaux ’61, if you have it. If not, then ’82. We will have the vegetables and hummus appetizer. And we will both have the salmon with asparagus .”
I glare at Killian as the waitress takes our menus away .
“What was that ?”
“What?” he asks innocently .
“Why did you order for me? And why did you order the salmon? I’m not a health nut like you. I wanted the burger .”
“Health nut, huh?” He casually leans back in his chair. “I just didn’t want to give you too much to think about right now. I knew you liked the wine, and after the breakfast you had, you need some vegetables and healthy protein to keep you going today .”
I shake my head. “You have no idea what I need .”
The waitress quickly brings the wine, and I’m at least thankful he ordered my favorite wine. I need to write that down, so I know what to order in the future .
I sip as I try to process what just happened, so I’ll know where to start with my questioning. My brain immediately goes to the moment in my father’s office. I literally choked. God, that was so embarrassing. What is surprising though was his reaction. When he saw me, he didn’t seem the least bit surprised. Not even the best actor in the world would have been able to hide some sort of reaction of surprise when he saw me. I’ve studied enough actors’ reactions to know a truthful one from a fake one. His was truthful .
I deepen my glare. “You already knew who I was. Last night, when you sat down at that blackjack table, you already knew who I was .”
“Yes,” he says .
“Why would you do that? Why would you lead me on like that when you already knew? You lied to me! You made me believe I could find someone on my own. Instead, you were prearranged. Did my grandfather put you up to it? Did he want you to seduce me before we met? Did you two think I would be happy then, if I already liked you when I found out it was you ?”
My face flushes bright red again, but this time, it’s mostly out of anger and only a little bit from embarrassment. Everyone knew, except for me .
“I didn’t initially go to the casino, seeking you out, last night. I went there for the same reason as you, I’m guessing. I was mourning a man I deeply cared about, and I thought gambling like I used to with him would be the best way to honor that man .”
“Wait, my father went gambling with you ?”
“Yes. I worked very closely with your father over the last five years. He was a great mentor to me. When we flew to different cities for meetings, we would gamble at other people’s casinos. It was the best way to learn from the competition. Robert was a great man. I miss him .”
“Don’t,” I say, my voice trembling. “Don’t. You don’t get to miss him. You don’t get to mourn him like I do. He’s not your father .”
The guilt immediately comes back. This man spent time with my father when I didn’t. I should have been there for him when he died. I should have gone to college closer to home, so I could have spent more time with him. Instead, I was happy to get as far away as possible when my family suggested Yale .
“Oh, princess, I could never miss him like you do, but I still miss him .”
I freeze when he says the nickname he has adapted for me…except he didn’t come up with my name. My father did .
“You got it from him .”
His eyes narrow in response, but he has no clue what I’m talking about .
“You got the princess thing from my father. That’s all he ever called me. I’m sure if you hung out so much together, you heard him talk about me in that manner. Don’t call me princess—ever again .”
He looks sad when I say that, but I can’t deal with this. I can’t deal with the fact that he got to spend so much time with my father in his final years while I was away at school and got so little time. My life is not fair .
I feel the tears welling in my eyes, but I don’t let them out. Killian doesn’t deserve any of my tears. He doesn’t deserve to see me mourn a man who was mine, not his .
The waitress places our appetizer in front of us. It looks disgusting. A mush of stuff sits in the middle with raw carrots, cucumbers, and celeries lining the outside. I don’t touch it. Instead, I lift the wine glass back to my lips .
I have so many questions. I don’t even know where to start. So, I just sit and watch as Killian fills a plate with hummus and vegetables. Then, to my surprise, he places the plate in front of me before filling another one .
“Eat,” he says .
My stomach grumbles, so I do, but it’s not because he tells me to. I try the carrot in the mush. It’s not half bad, I realize, as I crunch on the vegetable, but I’m not going to let him know that .
“Ask me,” he says before taking a bite of his food .