“Listen to me, Katherine,” my uncle says.
“Kai,” I hiss. “My name is Kai.”
“Kai, listen to me.” He grabs my shoulders and softens his voice. “I’m sorry. I know how hard it is not to have answers. I’ve been living here for months without knowing if you were alive or not. If you had won the game or not. When someone you love is out there, and you don’t get to know anything about them, it’s like you are slowly suffocating from the inside out. You can’t eat, breathe, or think without knowing if that person is alive. I understand.”
I shake my head as a tear drips. “You don’t love me, uncle. You made me live like we had no money. You sold me like cattle, instead of telling me the truth and preparing me for a battle I wasn’t ready to face. You don’t love me, uncle.”
He winces every time I say the word, uncle.
“You can love someone and still fuck up. I thought you of all people would know that.”
I nar
row my eyes as the anger penetrates again. “What do you mean, I of all people should know that?”
He sighs as if he realized he fucked up again. “I just meant the man you love, and are desperate to find out even the smallest piece of information about, has also sold you, has he not?”
I’m going to kill my uncle. I’m going to kill him.
And I let him know that with my gaze, my flared nostrils, my clenched jaw, and my tight fists.
“Enzo loves me. This isn’t about Enzo. This is about you loving me. This is about your screw-ups.”
My uncle nods. “You’re right. I’m not trying to say I didn’t fuck up. I did—in the worst possible way. I was a mess after your father died. I thought I could have saved him. I thought it should have been me that died. And then your mother died. And I was left with you—the only piece left of either one of them. And I did everything I could think of to protect you. I made you as strong as possible. The men that kidnapped you, initially they were supposed to just take you to some far off island to live comfortably where you would be safe. But then Enzo’s father found out. And so I turned it into an opportunity to make you stronger, strong enough to survive.”
“Well, great fucking job,” I say sarcastically. “I’m strong and broken and completely fucked up. And in the end, I’m still hiding away from reality.”
I look away; I can’t look at my uncle any longer. I can’t keep doing this for days, weeks, years. I need another solution.
My uncle stands up, clear that this conversation is over. Ending like every other conversation we’ve had—in a fight.
“I can’t ask my contacts about Enzo on a regular basis. They would get suspicious. They will investigate me. They will find you here. And then your sacrifice will be for nothing.”
Tears fall hard now—damn pregnancy hormones. I cry at the smallest of things now. Although, I’m not sure I can blame this one on pregnancy hormones.
My uncle leaves without another word. He doesn’t try to comfort me, not that I would let him.
I stare at the tray of food next to me. I’ve lost my appetite. I haven’t heard any news about Enzo in weeks. And I won’t be getting any updates. This is my life now.
I’m dead.
I feel dead.
Even though I’m staring out at an extraordinary view of the wilderness, I see nothing but dark shadows. Everything is in shades of gray. I don’t see color anymore.
I know birds are singing happily in a nearby tree, but the sound isn’t pleasant. It sounds like nails on a chalkboard to my ears.
There is a delicious plate of food next to me. I should crave it. I should want to eat every bite, if for no other reason than to provide nourishment for my baby. Instead, it smells as good to eat as sewage.
I want to sleep.
So that’s what I do.
I head inside and find my bedroom. The only bedroom in this house. My uncle has been sleeping on the couch since I got here. And when the baby comes…I have no idea. But my brain can’t focus on planning. My heart doesn’t dance at the upcoming arrival of my baby.
I’m numb.
I’m broken.