The words may end up being a mistake. But I would never take them back. That moment with Enzo on the speedboat was one of the purest experiences of my life. I felt everything we said and did. And if that moment is my downfall, then so be it.
“Would you like to hear your baby’s heartbeat?” the doctor asks.
I nod.
The doctors told me the baby is fine. The cuts and bruises were minor, and the smoke inhalation shouldn’t have any lasting effects. But I’m not sure I believe them. Not until I have some sort of proof.
The doctor said I could also have an ultrasound done if I want, but I don’t want one. That seems like something Enzo should be here for. And if they showed me the baby on an ultrasound, I’d want a picture. I’d have physical evidence of my pregnancy. Which would only put the baby at risk.
But no harm can come from hearing the baby’s heartbeat.
I lift my shirt up. My stomach still hasn’t popped yet, but the doctor told me it would happen soon. One day I will wake up and have a belly that wasn’t there when I went to sleep.
She puts the small device to my stomach.
Thump-thump.
Thump-thump.
Thump-thump.
She grins at me, and I know what I’m listening to: the perfect, magical sound of my baby’s heartbeat. I’m in love. Sure, I love Enzo, but this… this is different. This is a love that can never be severed. This feeling encompasses all that I am. It’s in my blood. No matter what happens, I will never be able to stop loving this child.
For just a second, the woman’s smile changes, and quickly moves from her normal grin to a more knowing gleam.
“What?” I ask.
But as I ask the question I’m desperate to know the answer to, Enzo pops his head in.
I quickly brush the machine off my stomach, stopping the beautiful melody of my child’s heartbeat.
The doctor catches on quickly and doesn’t say anything about the baby.
I want to tell Enzo.
I don’t want to tell him.
I hav
e no clue how to protect my child.
But I absolutely don’t want to tell him in a doctor’s office where our employees reside in beds just next door.
Enzo looks from me to the doctor. “Is everything okay?” His voice cracks as he speaks, and I can tell now how hard it was for him to leave me.
“Yep, I’m completely healthy,” I say.
Enzo looks from me to the doctor, waiting for her response. “If she needs to take it easy the next couple of days, stay in bed, then tell me. I’ll make sure she follows my orders.”
“No need, Miss Miller is completely healthy, albeit a little beat up. But there is no need for any extended rest if she doesn’t want it,” the doctor smiles at me.
“See? I’m all good,” I say, jumping off the table, wanting out of here before Enzo reads something on my chart or gets some clue that I’m pregnant.
Enzo takes my hands and starts walking me out.
“Oh wait, I have some pain killers for you to take if you need them,” the doctor says.
I frown. We never discussed any pain killers. And I doubt pain killers are good for the baby. The only thing we discussed me taking was a prenatal vitamin.