Fuck me. Please, fuck me.
He smirks at my reaction. I’m panting, drooling, and begging. Don’t give in! Not yet! But if this game doesn’t end in the next five seconds, I’m going to tackle him.
We both circle each other as we get closer, but still don’t touch each other. So close, so far.
“I know the truth about why you won’t say I love you,” he whispers.
My face falls. He knows my secret? He knows I’m pregnant? Did Langston or Liesel tell him?
My eyes search the depths of his, trying to figure out the truth. Does he know?
“Lie,” I say finally. He doesn’t know. He just knows I’m hiding something.
His face drops in pain. He didn’t know if it was a truth or lie. He was holding onto hope the only reason I won’t say I love him is because of him and Felix. But it’s not. It’s because I’m pregnant and loving Enzo puts my child at risk.
The silence spreads between us. The pain consumes us. And our love fills us. Even if it is never spoken, it’s there. Taunting us with what we could be, if only our lives were different. If only, we were normal. If only, we weren’t constantly in danger. If only…
“Why won’t you tell me you love me, Kai?” Enzo finally speaks, giving me a chance to stop the secrets. To tell him the truth.
“If I told you the truth, I would have to let you go. You would make me run away. We couldn’t be together. At least not with what we are currently facing, and I’m not ready to give you up yet.”
15
ENZO
I’M NOT ready to give you up yet.
Her words burn into me. And they are exactly how I feel. I’m not ready to give her up yet either. I will never be ready to give her up. Ever.
And her secret could tear us apart.
If that’s the truth, then I don’t want to know it. I can live without knowing everything about her. As long as she’s mine, I don’t care.
Kai’s afraid of losing the empire to Felix if we publicly show how much we love each other. And she thinks if she speaks it out loud to me, she won’t be able to hide it around the team. I hate to tell her the team already thinks we love each other, and there is nothing she can do to change that. The only reason they voted her in, and me out, is because Felix forced me to choose her over them. And how fast she reacted on her feet. She can make as good, if not better, leader than I can. I just don’t know if she wants the job or not.
None of that will stop me from showing her how much I need her now. How much I love her. If she doesn’t want to say it—fine. But I will make it as hard as fucking possible for her to keep the words from falling off her swollen lips.
“I’m scared,” Kai says, her voice trembling as she stands in front of me in nothing but her black bra and lace panties. She couldn't have chosen a more enticing outfit to seduce me if she tried.
“Why?” I breathe. The last time I fucked her, I thought I obliterated her demons. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it wasn’t as good for her as I thought.
“Because I want you more than I should. And every time I let myself feel anything for you, any time I let myself hope, we get ripped apart again a moment later.”
She’s right. The closer we get to each other, the harder the storm comes crashing through to break us apart.
I want to promise her it won’t happen again. That no one can tear us apart permanently. That Felix can’t do it. That no enemy can. That none of the company can. Nothing can hurt us again. But it would be a lie, and I don’t want to lie to her. So I answer honestly.
“I’m scared too. But loving you is worth it, no matter the danger that follows. I love you. If I die tomorrow because I loved you today, then so be it. I wouldn’t change my feelings for anything,” I say, brushing my fingers to touch her pouty bottom lip.
The touch brings her alive. And her reaction tells me everything she won’t say. She loves me too, and she doesn’t regret anything either.
Slowly, she unhooks her bra, letting it drop to the floor, then she takes a step back as she slips out of her panties until I can see all of her.
“Show me how much you love me,” she says.
I grab her neck, our mouths open and connect in a brutal kiss. She wants me to show her how much I love her, but I know from the second our lips touch that we won't be making love. We are both too charged for that. We are going to battle with our bodies just like we do during the games.
Her nails claw at my chest as our bodies collide together. Begging me for more of me than I’m already giving her.