“That’s why I can’t stay. I need the games over. I need to get the hell out of here before he notices. Enzo and I have suffered enough; this game ends with us. Once Enzo becomes the ruler, he can change the rules to ensure his second in command will take over instead of his child. Or two people from within the organization can compete, but I’m not involving my flesh and blood in this.”
Langston nods as he stares into my eyes. “What else aren’t you saying?”
“If the child is Enzo’s, you aren’t going to try and kill him or her, are you?” my voice shakes. I hate that I’m even questioning Langston, but after what Milo said, I don’t know who to trust. I need Langston to reassure me. If he lies, I’ll be able to know.
“What? Why would I hurt your child? I don’t care if the child is Enzo’s or Milo’s. I care about you, Kai. You deserve better than this world. Better than what Enzo, or Zeke, or I have done for you. I would protect your child with my life because it’s yours, I don’t give a shit who the father is because I know the child’s mother is worthy.”
“Truth,” I sigh at his words. “You spoke the truth.”
“Of course, I fucking told you the truth. What’s going on?” Langston grabs my shoulders.
“I can’t trust anyone within the organization with my secret. I shouldn’t have even trusted you, although I’m glad someone else knows. But I can’t trust anyone else. If they think the baby is Enzo’s, they may try to kill him or her. The team wants the strongest. They want to see two people battle to become Black. If Enzo and I share an heir, then there won’t be a fight to become the leader. Our child would become the ruler automatically. The men won’t let that happen. They’d rather kill our child than let them lead. They will try to force us to both have heirs of our own. Ones who will fight each other when the time comes.”
“That can’t be true. If you had a child together, they would think that person would be the strongest. The best of both of you. They wouldn’t try to kill your child. They trust and respect Enzo,” Langston says.
“It’s happened before. I can’t trust that even a small segment of the crew might feel that way and lead a revolt to try to harm my child. I can’t trust anyone. No one in the Black organization. No one outside of it. Not even Enzo.”
“Are you sure? Enzo might be the only one who will be able to heal you. To fix you after the nightmare Milo caused you. I’m doing my best here, but you aren’t getting any better. If anything, the nightmares are getting worse. He could heal you. He could help you.”
“And what about the baby? Enzo hasn’t been able to protect me, what makes you think he could protect our child?” It’s a low blow, especially since I was the one who put myself in danger with Milo. Enzo was just respecting my choice. But it’s the truth. I don’t trust anyone but myself with the protection of my baby.
Langston is silent. He doesn’t even try to answer because he knows it’s the truth.
“I don’t want Enzo to fix me. I can’t fall back in love with him. I can’t risk my child’s life for selfish love.”
“Then I will help make sure you don’t fall in love again. And when the time is right, I will help you disappear from everyone, even from me. The only way you will be safe is if you vanish.”
I see the pain in Langston’s
face. He is no longer Enzo’s trusted soldier; he’s mine. He will put me first, above Enzo. And if Enzo knew the truth, he’d want Langston to put me first. To protect me even from himself. I can see in Langston’s eyes what the plan is, what is going to need to happen to protect me. And even though I don’t love Enzo, my heart already breaks for him.
I HEAR THE KNOCK: three loud, determined pounds. Not meant to scare me, but enough to know who is standing on the other side of the door.
Enzo has mostly respected my privacy. He only ever comes into my room a few hours every day—usually in the afternoon. He doesn’t push me. He doesn’t force me to speak. To touch him. To interact at all. But something about that knock tells me he’s past his patience.
Langston looks at me with weary eyes. He’s not in the mood for a fight either.
“What do you want me to do?” he asks.
Langston has been sleeping in my bed almost every night these last few weeks. It shouldn’t help. But I tried having Liesel sleep next to me, and the nightmares got worse.
I need a man to sleep next to me. One I trust. One I know can fight off Milo. One whose arms remind me of Enzo’s.
Dammit. How is it even though I don’t love Enzo anymore, I still lust after him? I still long to be in his arms? To feel his cock inside me? Couldn’t Milo erase those feelings too if he was going to take away the love part? It would be easier. Because even though Enzo scares me, even though his touch now hurts me, my body still craves him deep down. It’s the most confusing thing ever.
“Answer it,” I say, knowing Enzo isn’t going to leave.
Langston gets out of bed. And I realize our mistake as soon as the door opens.
Langston is shirtless except for his boxers. And I look naked in bed with the sheet pulled up to my chest.
We both sleep better without clothes on. And we’ve found that at night when I have the nightmares, the only thing that helps calm me and bring me back to reality is our skin touching—already being shirtless helps.
There is nothing sexual going on between us. It’s more of a brother and sister relationship. But the way Enzo is looking at us says he sees something very different.
“What do you want? We are trying to sleep,” Langston says.
Enzo growls. “What am I doing? What the fuck are you doing?” Enzo throws a punch before Langston can react.