She’s not physically strong enough for a fight with me, but it doesn’t mean she will surrender. No matter how much I hurt her. No matter how much I hold her down, she won’t surrender from the physical pain. I have to play with her mind. I have to convince her that giving myself to Milo is the best—for us, and for the Black empire.
“No rules?” I ask as I stand watching Kai trying to come up with her own strategy.
“No rules,” Milo answer. “Begin.”
Kai and I don’t move when he initially says to start. It’s like two fighters from the same gym being forced into a ring together.
We start circling an imaginary spot on the floor, both staring at each other, trying to read the other person’s mind as we walk. But both of us have put up our shield, and both of us already know what the other is thinking.
She charges at me out of nowhere, jumping onto me with all of her force as she grabs for my neck. I catch her as we fall backward to the ground. Her body is light on top of mine, and I like the feeling despite her trying her best to choke me.
She leans down until her face is at my ear as she continues to squeeze.
“I love you. Don’t make me lose you. Don’t make me watch the man I love being taken away from me. If you want to save me, then surrender. I gave you my heart, protect it, that’s how you can save me,” she says.
Her words cut through me like a sharp blade to soft butter. Her words sting because they imply that while she loves me, I don’t love her.
Oh, stingray, if you only knew how much I love you.
I let her think she could win for a second more, and then I flip us quickly, throwing my weight on top of her as I squeeze her neck in return. She couldn’t speak if she wanted to.
And then I lean down to whisper my own plea in her ear.
“Trust me, stingray. I have a plan. And the only way I can enact the plan is to get captured. I need to be on the inside for it to happen. Trust me; I’ll come back to you,” I lie through my teeth.
I don’t have a plan, at least I don’t have a plan to escape. My plan is the same as it’s always been—to keep her safe.
I squeeze a little harder, reminding her she is no match physically for me. She won’t regain the upper hand unless I want her to, and I won’t let her. If she doesn’t surrender though, I’ll squeeze until she passes out, and then I’ll try to convince Milo it’s a victory. I’ll convince him to take me while she’s still passed out on the floor. The choice will be hers. To surrender and watch me leave. Or fight, pass out, and have me ripped from her.
Tears well in her eyes as her face turns a light shade of purple.
I hate myself for this. I hate myself for hurting her.
But I won’t let Milo win.
He doesn’t get to touch her.
Ever.
A single tear drips from her eye, and I lean down, not caring if Milo sees the gesture, and kiss the salty tear away.
“Trust me,” I whisper again. Trust your life to me. I will keep you safe, even if it means I’ll die. You will be safe. Langston will ensure your protection from our enemies. And I’ll ensure your protection from Milo.
Kai closes her eyes, like it’s physically breaking her to do what she’s going to do.
Please, do this for me. Save me.
“I surrender,” Kai whispers.
My heart heals with her words. Before each second that passed, more fissures and tears were forming—making me more vulnerable than ever before. But now that I know she will be safe, my heart is whole.
I stand up, getting off her as she continues to lie on the floor—shattered.
One breath.
Two.
Three.