We slept in the bed all night side by side, but not touching. As usual. I like Enzo’s touch, but I’m still not completely calm every time he does it. It can still cause me panic or freak me out if I’m not ready for it. So at night, it’s probably best if we don’t snuggle.
And Enzo is used to sleeping alone. He has no need for a snuggle buddy.
We don’t talk about it. It just happens. We just share his bedroom like an old married couple.
I stare down at Enzo’s mother’s ring on my hand as the alarm goes off. It’s eight-thirty. Only a half hour until we have to be ready.
I don’t want to be Enzo’s friend today. It will make it harder to hurt him. And it will destroy me if he hurts me. Especially after our night of lovemaking.
He reaches across the bed and tucks my hair behind my ear.
I freeze.
That’s too much—too caring. He shouldn’t do things like that.
He’s just trying to throw you off guard. Make you want him so you won’t hurt him when it comes down to it.
Don’t fall for his tricks.
I smile. “Morning.”
“Morning,” he sighs. “Sleep well?” the cocky grin on his face tells me he already knows I did.
I nod, continuing to play with the ring.
“When we get out of this bed, we are enemies again,” he says.
“Agreed.”
“Until then…” he reaches over and kisses me tenderly. I wonder how it would be to fuck him gently and tenderly. I always thought it would be too mushy and slow to keep my demons away. But after having him hard and rough, I want to find out what sex is like with Enzo in every way possible.
“Here,” I say, t
aking the ring off and holding him out to him.
“Do you want a divorce already? I thought I was doing a good job satisfying you in my bed.”
I smile. “No, I just don’t want to have any loyalty to you once we get out of this bed. I’m not your fake wife today. I’m your enemy. And I don’t want to accidentally lose it or something.”
He takes the ring, but instead of putting it somewhere safe, he grabs my hand again and slips the ring back on.
“We can be enemies and fuck buddies. We can hate each other and still want each other. We can be adversaries and still care. I gave it to you to keep no matter what happens. It’s yours—not mine. It’s your leverage to protect you when the time comes for you to start your life over. I don’t want you to forget I want you safe during the game. Because I do. I will do what I can to protect you.”
“I don’t want your protection.”
“But you have it. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” He kisses the ring on my finger. “This is my promise. I will always keep you safe. No matter how we feel about each other. Our hate won’t stop how I protect you.”
I look at the clock. Five minutes have passed. We need to shower and eat something before the game starts.
“Good luck,” I say.
“Good luck.”
We both exit the bed at the same time. We don’t talk. We don’t acknowledge the other as we get ready for the day. It’s like a flip has been switched. Like we didn’t just fuck each other’s brains out all night. We have no connection anymore.
My stomach is in knots, so I don’t eat much. I drink an iced coffee and pick at some eggs. I take as long as I can in the shower, letting the water wash away any remnants of Enzo. I can’t think about him.
I get dressed in dark jeans, a tight fitting black shirt, and comfortable running shoes. I don’t know what the task is, but I’d rather be ready for a fight than dressed for a ball.