Yes, I don’t like people’s touch, but I can handle it. I’ve held Zeke’s hand for the last eight hours. It’s not a picnic, but I can endure it.
Yes, I don’t like the water or boats, but Enzo threw me into the water, and I survived only suffering through a frantic heartbeat.
Yes, I don’t like the light, but I’ve learned to live in the light as easily as I breathe in the dark.
Yes, I don’t like a soft bed, but I’ve learned to sleep on a blanket of pillows as easily as a hard floor.
Enzo can’t hurt me. Whatever punishment he has planned, I can endure. I can survive. I will take the scars in and come out stronger.
And I know how Enzo wants to punish me.
I can see the lust shining in the dark irises of his eyes. It’s the same feeling we’ve both had since six years ago when we first met. And tonight, we will finish what should have started then.
We have a connection—neither of us can deny it.
But it’s a connection neither of us understands.
Is the connection because we were both destined to be enemies from the start?
Is it because he was born in the dark and I the light?
Or did it grow as we both realized the other was untouchable?
We are going to find out. We are going to put an end to the tension between us.
He wants to use sex to punish me—and I want him to.
It was inevitable we would eventually fuck. He’s the only man in my life. The only person who can touch me without me flinching. The only person I’ve ever thought of naked.
We’ve seen each other naked. We are both attracted to each other. We both want each other.
And this is how it has to happen. As punishment—rough, primal, carnal.
I don’t want it any other way.
If we go slow, trying to ease me into it, I’ll back out. It will give me too much time to think about what I’m doing and how wrong it feels. I can’t let my brain think about what’s happening. It just needs to happen.
This is the way.
Sex will either heal me or break me—maybe both.
We’ve tried for weeks now, and there is this constant pull back to each other. But once we’ve finally fucked we will be free. To forgive each other for our past sins. To be the enemies we were always destined to be.
“Punish me, fuck me,” I say as he continues to grip my neck. The last time he did this was on a yacht, and we ended up going overboard. His decision then changed my life, as will his decision now. But I have more control now than I ever realized. And I have my own punishment in mind for Enzo.
Once we fuck, we will be even. All will be forgiven, because I can’t keep living with the pain. And neither can he. It will consume us. And we both need to be ready for when the games start.
He narrows his gaze as his fingers tighten around my neck until only the tiniest slip of oxygen can make it to my lungs.
“Don’t ask for something you can’t handle,” he growls.
“I. Can. Handle. It.”
He bites his lip as if it’s taking all of his self-control to hold himself back. His eyes go back and forth as he searches for the answer. Because as much as he wants me, he won’t rape me. As much as I’ve branded him the devil, there is a part of him that isn’t.
The world Enzo grew up in was different than mine. He did horrible things in the name of survival. And that hardened him, but there is still a part of the boy inside of him that has hope for something better. Something that isn’t so dark and cruel.
And that part of him is the part I will break. Only then will we be even.