“I’m sor—”
“I don’t want to hear a pathetic apology from a bitch like you.”
Langston had always been kind to me, but not now. Now he will hate me till the end of my days.
“Has the doctor said anything?” I ask, because I need to know.
He shakes his head. “He’s in surgery.”
“That’s good. That means he’s still alive.”
“No, Enzo pays the doctor’s so well they will fight for his life well beyond the length a normal doctor would give up and declare him dead. He could already be dead, and they will continue to work hours longer.”
“There could be a miracle.”
He glares at me. “A miracle would be if you dropped dead.”
I suck in a breath at the invisible kick to the stomach.
“You’re the reason he’s in there! Do you understand that?”
I nod.
“I don’t think you do! You prevented Enzo from going.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, but Zeke would probably still be in there right now. Enzo would just be right in there with him.”
“No.” Langston hovers over me in an instant, and I wonder if he’s going to slap me, grab me, or hit me. I deserve it, but I flinch, and he stops as if remembering what happened when he touched me the last time. How Enzo hurt him and threatened him never to do it again.
“Enzo wouldn’t be in there. And Zeke wouldn’t either. You’ve never seen Enzo in action, so you don’t understand. He’s unstoppable. He can hear things, see things, sense things we can’t. His intuition is unmatchable. He knows where and what our enemy is doing before they do.
“Zeke and I’s connection to Enzo is strong. Once Enzo figures out a plan, it’s almost instantaneous that he conveys it to Zeke and me. And with Zeke’s strength, my quickness, and Enzo’s power we are indomitable. We’ve been hurt, but never like this. We’ve never been so caught off guard. Never been this close to death before.”
“He could still survive,” I whisper, feeling Langston’s pain with each word.
“You still don’t understand. Zeke wasn’t the only man who was hurt. He might be the closest to Enzo, but he isn’t the only one. They killed over twenty men, injured more, and captured the rest. Those deaths are your fault.”
The color drains from my face, and I collapse to the floor. I let men die.
“You should have let Enzo go. You aren’t cut out for this world. You aren’t even cut out to fight to become Black.”
“I let Enzo go now,” I say, finally looking up at Langston again.
“What do you mean?”
“He said there was nothing he could do for Zeke here. But he’s going to get revenge. I let him go, but…” I can’t finish. Did I just send Enzo to his death? Because the man that hurt Zeke like that will mutilate the man in charge.
And if Enzo is dead, that means I become Black by default.
Langston’s right, I can’t lead. I don’t belong in this world. If I were to lead, the men would be dead within the month.
Enzo might be cruel, but I doubt every man who works for him deserves to die because of my incompetence. Men like my father work for Enzo, and as upset as I am at my father right now, I don’t think he deserves to die.
“Good, Enzo will get revenge for Zeke.” The way he says it makes it seem there is no way Enzo will die getting revenge. He says it like it’s his word. Like it’s already done.
Tears fall again as I shiver in my cold skin against the wall.
I did this.