He moves out of the doorway for me to leave.
“Why are you keeping your distance? Avoiding touching me?”
His body darkens as he steps closer. “Because I will never touch you. Never. Why would I want to claim what has already been tainted? Why would I want you?”
I feel the tears behind my eyes. I should be happy to hear he won’t touch me, even if his words are harsh and cruel. He can’t hurt me if he doesn’t touch me. But then that means I’m nothing to him.
“Why keep me? Why keep me alive?”
“You didn’t win the game. You didn’t earn your answers. You are mine for as long as I want to keep you. Now go to your room and don’t come down until I can no longer see every fucking bone in your body.”
“So I’m a prisoner to my room?”
“Until you learn to obey the rules, yes.”
I feel the sickness take hold of my body. I don’t want to give in, but I don’t have a choice
. If I stay defiant, I will blackout.
“Go, before I’m forced to carry your body to bed again, myself.”
I storm past him and then reach the stairs.
Shit.
Now I wish Enzo would really carry me upstairs, because I will have nothing left in my tank by the time I reach the top. But I’m too stubborn to return and ask for his or anyone else’s help.
So I climb. It’s ruthless, unforgiving, and I feel new bruises forming as I knock myself against the stairs as I move upward. But I make it.
I walk down the hallway to the bedroom he calls mine, and I stare at the bed. I won’t get in that cloud of heaven.
Instead, I stumble to the farthest corner of the room from the windows, I remove the shirt, and lie down on the smooth hardwood floor. At least his home is floored with hardwood instead of carpet. I curl up on the ground, tucking my knees to my chest, and close my eyes.
Sleep will easily overcome me. But Enzo will haunt my dreams. He was the boy who saved me, only to sell me. He was my first kiss. My first taste of what falling in love could feel like. He was freedom to me. And now he’s my master, who’s so disgusted by me he doesn’t even want me.
I thought I knew loneliness, but loneliness is only now coming for me. Because even Enzo can’t hate me. I am nothing. I am no one. I should be dead, but no one will kill me. Instead, I’m trapped in this cage of gleaming light until I find a way for it all to end.
18
Enzo
I watched as Kai climbed the stairs with bated breath.
It took her twenty minutes to reach the top, something that should have taken her thirty-seconds to do. It took everything in my body to restrain myself, to keep my feet planted at the bottom of the stairs hidden in the shadows, instead of tossing her over my shoulder and carrying her to bed. But I can’t touch her, for both our sakes. Never again.
If I touch her, I would fuck her, rape her, hurt her. That’s a line I won’t cross, no matter how my twisted brain wants me to. I won’t harm her.
That’s a lie. I’m hurting her by keeping her captive—by not telling her the truth.
She reaches the top, and I wait for as long as I can stomach before heading up the stairs. For one, I need a new shirt, my clothes haven’t arrived yet, and the only ones I have are hanging in the closet off the room she now occupies. And two, I need to know she isn’t passed out again.
I run up the stairs and creep at the doorway to the room. Kai didn’t bother shutting the door, so it’s easy for me to loom in the dark. She’s not in the bed.
Fuck.
I walk inside, expecting to see the worst. Instead, I hear her snores.
I shake my head as I see her curled up in my shirt on the floor. I don’t know what she’s been through to prefer the hard floor to a comfortable bed. To prefer walking naked than be clothed. To prefer to be left alone than touched.