I turn to him with defiance in my eyes. I always knew something horrible awaited my future. He may think I’ll die quick and swiftly, or I’ll beg for my life.
I’ll do neither because I’ve been prepared for this day. And I won’t go down without a fight.
“Just one.
“Why?”
7
Enzo
Why?
I promised to reply to any of her questions if I lost, but this is the one question I can’t answer.
“Why?” Kai asks again, her voice steady, though I can see the quiver in her lip as she speaks. A lip still swollen and stained red from the drop of blood I drew when I kissed her.
Kai won’t let this go.
I hold the gun loosely in my hand, still pointed in her general direction, but not aimed directly at her. I should pull the trigger and end this. Put a stop to the questions I can’t answer.
“Why?” her voice is stronger now, more determined. “You are going to kill me anyway. It won’t hurt to tell me why if you are just going to shoot me. I won’t be able to tell anyone.”
I don’t react, not even with my eyes. She?
?s right of course, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to answer her.
Her eyes grow dark and angry. “We made a bet. You played the game. You lost. Now answer me! Why?”
My eyes close for a second longer than they should be closed. I expect her to take her chance and escape. She’s smart, observant, and will do anything to survive, but she doesn’t take her opportunity when I show the tiniest weakness. Her need to know the answer is greater than her need to live in this moment.
I want to answer her.
I want to know why myself.
But I won’t lie to her, and I don’t know the answer.
Her legs tremble, and she falls, the bed behind her catching her into a seated position. Her hand shakes against her chest, and if I were to feel her pulse I know it would be flying through her body, her fight or flight response kicked into gear.
“You don’t know, do you?” Her words are sharp and determined.
“No, I don’t know why.”
“Did you even ask why when you were given this assignment?”
“Yes.”
She nods slowly. “I understand. You’re not high up enough in Black’s crime organization to get to know why. You blindly follow orders. I knew you were a criminal. I knew you did bad things when I met you. I knew you were dangerous, but I didn’t realize you were heartless and cruel. I didn’t know you were a fucking coward, a nobody, a lowlife who only cared about earning cash when you took a life!”
Her breathing is hurried, but she doesn’t stop. “I thought if you were to kill me, you would at least give me the courtesy of deciding I deserved to die yourself, not because some king in a castle told you to. I thought you were your own person, but now I realize who you really are. A fucking pussy with no control and no future.”
“Are you finished?”
She huffs. “You’re the one with a gun. You tell me.”
I lower it just a little; she exhales realizing I’m not going to shoot her, not yet.
“You’re right. I’m a fucking coward who won’t stand up for myself. I follow orders. But you’re wrong about my ability to control my future. I may not be able to control what I do on this boat, but I will after.”