I dig into my bra and pull out the first wad of cash. His eyes grow big as he stares at the thick bundle.
“How did you get the money? Did you already whore yourself out to protect dear old daddy?”
My eyes tighten into slits. My body tenses, and I dig my heels into the hard sand to keep myself from attacking this man. “Do you want the money or not?”
He nods.
I pull the rest of the money from my pockets, careful to keep the last two hundred in my pockets away from his eyes. If he saw I had more money, he would take that too, as interest.
I shove the wad of money into his hands.
“How do I know this is everything?”
“Because unlike you I’m not a filthy liar. I keep my promises and pay back everything I owe. Now leave.” I turn and march into the unlocked trailer before he says another word. I slam the door shut and stick the broom through the door handle to lock the door. It does no good when we leave the house, but there isn’t anything inside worth stealing. All it does is provide some level of protection to keep men like him out.
I shake against the door, my breathing fast and heavy. Even so, I don’t get enough oxygen into my lungs. Goosebumps cover my thin arms and my gut wrenches at the thought of being violated.
I close my eyes and try to forget about him grabbing my neck. About threatening to rape me or stick his cock down my throat. I try to forget it all, but I never can. It’s not the first, nor the last time I’ll be threatened.
A knock pounds at the door making me jump. He got his money. What could he possibly want?
My mind races with what to do, how to save myself. I run to the drawer in the kitchenette. I yank it open and rummage through the drawer looking for a knife. All I find is a butter knife.
The knock rattles the entire trailer this time, and I grip the dull knife in my hand aiming it toward the door. Maybe I’ll be able to jab it in his eye, and he will leave realizing I’m not worth the struggle.
“Kai, it’s me.” My dad’s voice travels through the door, weak and worried. He must have seen the man he owes a debt to. He doesn’t know I paid it. That I’m still alive with my virginity still intact.
I race to the door, pull the broom handle out, and open the door still gripping the knife.
Father lets out a breath when he sees me. “Are you…?” He can’t finish.
I drop the knife. “I’m fine.”
It’s the truth. I’m fine. I’m always fine, but never more.
Never safe.
Never happy.
Just fine.
“Good.” He nods. “I can’t stay. Mr. Bramble is—”
“I took care of it.” I step back to let father into the trailer. He doesn’t offer me a hug, although I can tell he was concerned about him. And even if he did, I wouldn’t relish the embrace the way I did Mason’s. Father may care about me, and I may risk my life to take care of him, but it doesn’t stop the anger or pain we both feel toward each other. We just haven’t been able to find our way after we lost my mother.
He studies me a moment and then nods.
He doesn’t thank me. He doesn’t ask how I came up with the money. He doesn’t tell me he’s sorry for the life he’s forced me in to. Nothing, but a nod.
He walks to the recliner in what most would call a living room and sinks into it, putting his feet up in the chair. He’ll be asleep within minutes. The trailer has only one bedroom that is big enough for one tiny twin bed. I sleep there; he sleeps here.
We shouldn’t hate each other, but we do. We shouldn’t resent each other. It’s neither of our faults, not really. My father does his best captaining various vessels, mostly yachts for the rich. They pay him well, but we will never get out of the debt my mother caused us.
Cancer.
She died of cancer when I was little, so young I can’t even remember her. She fought a long time, over five years. But the entire time she was nothing but a vegetable. But that didn’t stop my father from trying to save her. Through chemo, treatment, the nurses and doctors costing more than we could ever afford to repay.
Most men in the trailer park have addictions that have cost their families everything. Gambling, drinking, drugs.