Rose pouts.
Atlas grins, his face shining like the sun.
“I can do it,” Rose says.
“I know, but there is nothing wrong with asking for help.”
I squat down and look at the still jellyfish on the sand in front of us. I scoop my hands underneath its squishy body and then carry it over to the water before flinging it into the ocean, setting it free.
I don’t know if it will survive or if it has sustained too much damage, but as I stare out at the ocean, I feel a ping of jealousy. Whatever the outcome, the jellyfish is free, unlike me, who is bound by too many lies to count.
“Why didn’t it sting you, daddy?” Rose asks.
I turn back to my daughter and hold out my hands. “It did.”
Atlas gasps. “Does it hurt?”
“Not as much as watching either of you get hurt does.”
Atlas stares at my hand with concern. He doesn’t like other people being hurt. He’d rather take on the pain himself.
“Come here,” I say to him, holding my arms out.
He collapses into my side as I kneel down and wrap my arms around him. “When you hug me, you take all the pain away.”
“Good, daddy. I don’t like it when you’re hurt.”
I smile and watch as Rose approaches me more cautiously but eventually wraps her arms around me as well.
“Piggyback ride?” Rose asks.
“Climb on, you two.”
She climbs on my back while Atlas rolls his eyes at her. I know he’d rather keep his feet on the ground, but he trusts me more than anyone else. So when I lift him up in the air and fling him around, he laughs and it’s completely carefree.
I glance down the beach toward where Liesel took off. I have an undeniable urge to run after her, but my kids are more important. I have to keep them safe. Liesel will come around.
I carry the kids on my back toward the house, where Phoenix is sitting on the back deck, watching and waiting for us. She doesn’t say anything as I set the kids down.
“I’m starving,” Rose says as soon as her feet hit the deck.
I chuckle.
Phoenix shakes her head. “There is some fruit and string cheese in the fridge. Wash up first, and then you can eat it.”
Rose runs inside with Atlas fast on her heels.
I can’t help but smile watching them. They remind me of Liesel and me when we were their age. They seem to fit together even though they aren’t biological brother and sister. They still share some blood, being cousins and all.
I look back at Phoenix, who is staring at me intensely. She’s wearing her usual outfit of dark jeans and a black long-sleeved T-shirt, thick makeup, and red hair. She hates the beach and the ocean. She’d rather us live in a large city somewhere, but she stays because of me. This is what I need: to be near the ocean. I spend my entire life either here along the beaches of Miami, on a yacht, or basking in the sun on my private island near the Bahamas.
“Why do you put up with me? Why not divorce my ass and find another man who would actually love you?” I ask. It’s brazen of me and reveals more about what happened between Liesel and me than I should be admitting, but I have to know why she stays. Maybe if I can understand her, I’ll have an idea of how we can move forward.
It doesn’t matter what I want. No matter what becomes of Phoenix and I, I can’t marry Liesel. I can’t love Liesel. Fucking her is all we get, even though it’s not enough for either of us to survive on.
“I’m going to need a glass of wine if we are going to have this conversation.” She moves to get up, but I grab her wrist, my body begging her to answer me.
She sighs, seeing the pain in my eyes.