“The others? Do they know?” I ask, referring to Kai, Enzo, Siren, and Zeke. I asked them all for help at various times in my search for my son, but none of them had been able to help me. Were they just keeping Langston’s secret?
“No, they think he’s my biological son.”
I nod and look down at my feet. I still haven’t looked at the boy Langston claims is my son since he revealed it to me. I’m not ready to see if he has my eyes or hair coloring. I’ve seen him before, but not up close, not while I was looking to see if he resembled me.
“What’s going on in your head?” Langston asks, trying to pry beneath the shield I’ve put up.
I shake my head, but then I finally speak. There is no use keeping my thoughts to myself. Not when we’ve shared so much.
“I just don’t understand. I don’t understand how you could have my son. I don’t understand how Waylon said he knew where my child was if you had my son. I don’t know who to believe.”
“I don’t know why Waylon said he knew where your son was, other than he was trying to manipulate you.”
“He had proof.”
“What kind of proof?”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter what his proof was, what’s yours?”
I look Langston in the eye, and my heart swells. He looks broken from my doubt, but he’s lied too many times. We both have. Of course, I don’t believe he has my son. But then, why would he lie? I could easily get a DNA test and prove him wrong.
Waylon had DNA proof. That’s w
hy I believed him. Will I believe Langston until I have the same proof?
“I’ll tell you my story and get a DNA test if that will make you feel better, but spend one minute with him and you’ll realize he’s yours.”
My heart catches. How can he be so certain?
“I met Phoenix when I was a teenager. We met at one of Enzo’s father’s bars. I don’t remember much about that night, except that I was horny and lonely. She was alone and in need of company.”
“I don’t need to hear this,” I say. I don’t want to hear about the night they met, fucked, and then how she eventually became his wife.
He grabs my cheeks in his strong hands, holding me so fervently as he peers into my eyes. “Trust me, you do.”
I close my eyes, keeping the tears at bay. He was off fucking whores in bars, while I was dealing with the trauma of carrying my rapist’s child.
“I was lonely because you were gone. Sure, it had been years at that point since you and I were friends, but even when we were fighting, I felt close to you. But then you took off for Europe. You left. You were gone. That pain was the first intense pain I ever felt. It left a hole in my heart. A brokenness I didn’t know I was capable of feeling.”
“You seemed to get over it just fine by running off and marrying the first girl you laid eyes on.”
“I never got over you. I’m still not over you.”
Dammit, my eyes water so much that I can’t hide it. His words aren’t the truth. They are empty, meant to manipulate me.
“I got drunk that night. I fucked her in the filthy bathroom. And then I left.”
I grab his wrists to pull them off my face, but I can’t quite do it. I revel in the feeling of his warm hands on my skin—even if I get burned, I want to feel him. That’s my problem when it comes to Langston; I have no self-preservation. He’s always going to end up hurting me—that’s why I should let him go.
“A year later, I found out I had a child.”
“Rose?”
He nods. “I knew I’d be a terrible father. I’d most likely end up dead before my child turned eighteen, so all I initially offered was money. I thought it would be better if I stayed out of her life.”
He initially gave up his child for the same reasons I did.
“But then Phoenix reached out for help. I made the mistake of agreeing to meet her and my daughter.” His eyes water. “Once I laid eyes on Rose, I knew that I couldn’t give her up again. I wasn’t strong enough.”