“She lives on my floor and works similar hours to me. She comes over twice a week, and we share a meal together, nothing more. She’s just a woman I can talk to, but I only fucked her the one night. I didn’t change my rules for her.”
He sets my wine glass down on the table and takes my wrists in his hands.
“I wasn’t finished with that,” I say breathlessly.
“I’m not finished with you.”
29
Sebastian
I grip Millie’s wrists in my hands. I can feel her pulse racing. But I don’t need to feel her pulse, watch her breathing, or see the way her pupils dilate to know what she’s thinking—the same thing I am.
Millie wants me. Just like I want her.
But we both feel an air of apprehension. Me, because I know what having her again will do to me. And her because she sees Chloe as a threat.
I can’t do anything about my own apprehension, but I can do something to fix Millie’s.
“She means nothing. She was nothing but a good fuck. She meant so little to me that I didn’t even remember that Monday nights are the night she usually comes over because all I was thinking about is you.”
She swallows so hard that I can see her throat bob. “You’re allowed to have feelings for her. This is all pretend.”
Her words are a knife to the gut, but I know they aren’t true. She feels something when I hold her like this, when I kissed her, fucked her. If not, she wouldn’t be jealous of a woman who means nothing to me.
“I know I am, but I don’t. The only woman in the world I could possibly have feelings for is you, Millie.”
She sucks in the tiniest of breaths. She doesn’t want me to notice her reaction, but it’s there. I notice everything about her. There is no way I’d miss her reaction to me telling her that I feel more for her. What, I’ve yet to figure out, but definitely more.
“Me too,” she says, telling me she has feelings but no way to put them into words.
I nod solemnly. This wasn’t supposed to happen. We weren’t supposed to feel anything. But no matter what feelings we have, it won’t change the result. We will eventually get divorced. It’s what’s for the best, for both of us.
“Where do you work?” Millie asks as we stand inches apart, our heated breath warming each other, her wrists still in my grasp.
“I’m half owner of a non-profit that focuses on the healing and recovery of addicts.”
She smiles softly. “Such a sweetheart. You really aren’t an asshole at all.”
I smirk and pull her tight to me. My lips hover over hers, but not giving her the kiss that she’s begging for. “I can still be an asshole when I want.”
Her eyes gleam.
“What do you do?”
She takes a deep, steadying breath. “A little of everything.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m a wanderer who hasn’t found her calling yet.”
I frown at her non-answer. “What was your last job?”
“Security guard.”
“Security guard? And the job before that?”
“I’ve also been a bartender, a photographer, a driver, and an event planner.”