My jaw hurt from clenching my teeth. I had nothing against Nate, but he wasn’t Tim in a firefight. I had to get out of here right now before my head exploded.
“Are we clear?” she demanded again.
We nodded and mumbled affirmatively.
“Then you are dismissed,” she said, and turned her back on us.
14
AS SOON AS WE WERE out of Strepp’s hearing, Cassie burst out, “This is bullshit!”
“You got that right,” Tim said grimly.
The four of us ducked behind the mess tent, then stood and stared at each other. I was still happy about my assignment, but felt sick at losing Cassie and Tim. My sister’s face was flushed pink, and I knew how she felt.
“Is this another test from Ms. Strepp?” Cassie asked. “Is everything still a test, all the time?”
“We should have been more careful,” Nate said bitterly. “We should have hidden our feelings, our relationships.”
“If we have to hide our relationships, then what are we fighting for?” Cassie exclaimed. “I mean, ‘we will be free’ means we will be free, right?”
“Yeah,” Tim agreed bleakly. “Like, I just can’t do the whole research thing.”
I didn’t know what to say. Tim was from a manufacturing cell, where kids left school and started working when they were twelve. He was smart but hadn’t had the same schooling the three of us had had.
Cassie covered her face with her hands, obviously embarrassed, like she wasn’t good enough for the Resistance Army. I put my arms around her, touching her forehead with mine. She tried to pull away but I held her more tightly.
“Hey,” I said. “I want you on my team. I don’t know what Strepp is doing, but I’d give anything to have you with me. No one’s as kickass as a Greenfield, am I right?”
Cassie shrugged angrily. “Easy for you to say.”
“Look, Strepp is separating us,” I said. “This war will separate us. Death might separate us! But don’t you ever separate us, you got that? I’m sorry you’re mad, I wish like hell you were going with me, but don’t you dare pull away from me. Not ever. You hear me? No matter what!”
Slowly, my twin raised her eyes, met mine. After a minute, she nodded. She put her arms around me and we hugged each other as if we would never come apart.
15
CASSIE
BECCA, NATE, AND A FEW dozen other troops had been ordered to leave the next morning before dawn. Tim and I were there to say goodbye. We weren’t the only ones staying behind—most of the kid soldiers were assigned to the camp for additional training and to keep things running. Only the lucky few got to go out on assignment. All of us getting left behind looked miserable and angry. I know I did.
I saw Becca’s squad off to one side as they put finishing touches on their gear. Their team was Becca, Nate, a girl called Bunny, and three kids I didn’t know. Bunny was taller and heavier than Becca, with a black Afro crew cut and a scar on her face at the corner of her mouth. She was a good fighter and I was glad she was on my sister’s team.
I tried to smile when Becca broke rank and came over to me.
“Stop that,” Becca said briskly. “You look like a dying cow.”
“You guys are loaded for bear,” I observed, trying to sound casual.
“Yeah,” Becca said, hoisting a backpack onto her shoulders. “
I didn’t even know we had all this stuff.” She got her backpack situated and looked at me, then made a circle with her thumb and her index finger. After a moment, I made one, too, and joined it with Becca’s to make a connected link. I was overwhelmed with love for my exasperating, reckless sister, and this goodbye might be our last one. My chest felt like a horse was sitting on it and it was hard to breathe.
“You and me forever,” Becca said softly.
I could hardly speak, but I needed to show Becca that I wouldn’t be the one to split us apart.
“You and me forever.” We hugged goodbye, breaking off too soon so we wouldn’t start bawling.