When I got to the gateposts, I barely hesitated—just putt-putted through as if I’d been coming and going my whole life. I could have cut the fence farther away and walked through, like I had with Nathaniel, but didn’t want to take the time. Right now it didn’t matter if anyone spotted me. It was too late for them to do anything.
Nathaniel. I hadn’t talked to him—hadn’t seen him at school during the eight minutes I was there this morning. By now he must know that I’d been expelled and had no vocation, no
future. If he was the old Nathaniel, he would sneer at me in the street. What would the new Nathaniel do? I might never know.
Last night I hadn’t noticed how far out the truck was on the road. It seemed like I should have reached it by now, and I started to worry that my last link to Becca had been taken. Five more minutes, I told myself. If I don’t see it by then, well, I guess I’ll just stop anyway.
Then it was there, a shape in the darkness. You could hardly tell that it was red.
I pulled up next to it and opened the driver’s side door for the last time. I would never see this truck again. I would never be out here again. Hot tears, the tears that hadn’t come before, streaked through the dust on my cheeks.
I loved this truck so much. For a moment I let myself drift back in time, seeing Pa behind the steering wheel, the sunlight flashing across his suntanned skin. When we were little, when Ma was happy, we’d gone on picnics in this truck. If the ground was too wet or muddy, we sat in the truck bed, our picnic blanket spread there instead.
I’d had a family once. I’d been happy. It felt like a very long time ago. Now I was seventeen and my life was over. No family, no high school diploma, no vocation. My other option—to find someone to marry me—had just taken a nosedive. Who would get involved with the last of the notorious Greenfields?
The sky above me was a deep, deep navy and sprinkled with so many stars that I and my problems suddenly seemed tiny. Maybe when we die, we become stars. Maybe Ma was a star up there, winking down at me. Maybe Becca was.
Maybe it was time to join them.
I had Pa’s rifle, after all. But I couldn’t flub the job, like Pa had. I couldn’t end up like him. I’d have to do a better job of aiming, is all.
The wind began to kick up then, blowing fine, silty sand against me. I had no idea wind could make so much noise—was there a storm coming? The sky was clear.
With my very next blink, the world around me exploded into light so bright that I couldn’t see a thing.
“Cassie Greenfield!” a voice thundered. “Put down the rifle and put your hands up!”
Oh, hell no, I thought, and leaped for the moped, throwing my leg over the saddle and grabbing the handlebars. By touch alone I jammed it into life, gunned its tiny motor, and raced away.
50
BECCA
“PRISONERS! REPORT TO THE RING! Report to the ring!”
Diego, Merry, and Vijay all looked at me with sympathy. Half an hour ago, I’d actually taken a swing at Strepp. I’d screamed at her in public, had called her an idiot. We all knew what was coming.
“Been great knowing you,” I said, trying to sound normalish.
“Oh, Becca!” Merry said, starting to cry.
I attempted a brave smile, but inside I was shrieking. “It was only a matter of time,” I said. “There was no way I could keep my mouth shut much longer.”
Both Diego and Vijay had tears in their eyes.
“I can tell you one thing I won’t miss,” I said. “I know damn well Diego won’t be stinking up heaven!”
My roommates did smile a tiny bit then.
“Or hell, whatever,” I went on. “Either one. Actually, if it’s hell, then I’m sure there’ll only be the one john, and that Diego will be with me.”
That reaped a few small chuckles.
“That will be my eternity. Me, Diego, and a toilet.” I was almost laughing myself now, and my roommates looked much better.
The jail block alarm sounded, and all of our barred doors slid open at the same time. Prisoners streamed out of their rooms and headed toward the stairway. Guards stood around, clubs and Tasers at the ready.
“Weird,” I muttered as we filed out into the crowd. “Usually they would have come for me first. I guess they’ll just pull me out when we get to the ring.”