“You’re dismissed, Cassie,” Ms. Ashworth said as Mr. Lewis began to gather steam for another attack. “Go home. And don’t come back.”
47
PEOPLE IN THE HALLWAY LOOKED at me and whispered as I slammed open my locker. I grabbed whatever was mine, stuffed it into my backpack, and slammed the locker door shut. They can’t do this! I fumed. This has to be illegal!
But who would I turn to? The Provost’s office? Ha!
In the parking lot I strapped my backpack to my moped. Glancing up, I saw Steph staring at me through a window. She mouthed, “What happened?” but all I could do was shrug, get on the moped, and putt-putt furiously away.
What had just happened to me? My world was turned on its head. Even without Ma, even without Pa, and yes, even without Becca, I’d still had me. I’d still had school. I’d still had my vocation. I’d had a future, a life. Now what did I have?
This mother-lovin’ moped and an old, broken-down farmhouse. A dying farm that was too much for me to keep up. I couldn’t harvest what little crops we had all by myself. Did I even have friends? Would Steph’s parents forbid her to see me—one of the disgraced Greenfields? Everything was crazy!
As I drove by our nearest neighbors’ house, my eye caught something black and shiny. The System-Assisted Suicide van. Mr. Preston had retired recently—the system always contacted retirees about making their retirement permanent.
You know who else they contacted? People who had no vocation. Maybe not today, but soon I would be getting a visit from a facilitator, someone who would pat my hand sympathetically and listen to all my woes. And then, at a lull in the conversation, their eyes full of understanding, they would murmur something about other options. About making way so a new life could be born.
Our house seemed twice as shabby as it had this morning, and I gritted my teeth as I slammed the door so hard I almost broke the glass. In the kitchen I stared into the almost empty fridge—I hadn’t been to work at the All-Ways in days and there was damn little to eat. I was probably fired.
What had happened to me? I was Cassie Greenfield, candidate for a President’s Star! I’d been my class representative three times!
Upstairs I stomped past Pa’s closed door and Becca’s closed door. Then I threw myself on my bed, waiting for the major tears to come, knowing that they wouldn’t end for a long while.
But they didn’t come. Not even my tears knew what to do anymore.
On my bed, I closed my eyes in case this was all a bad dream. Maybe even Ma and Pa had been just a bad dream. Maybe I would wake up and hear Ma making breakfast downstairs, hear Pa getting ready to head out to the fields. Hear Becca’s horrible singing in the shower.
I popped my eyes open hopefully and listened.
All I heard was the wind making branches scrape against my window. My fingers gripped my quilt. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be my life.
I watched the sky outside turn gray, then red, then black. My stomach rumbled but it didn’t matter. While I’d been lying there, it had come to me: What I should do. What I had to do. What was my only option, at this point.
Downstairs, I got Pa’s rifle and loaded it.
48
BECCA
“ROBIN WELLFLEET,” I WHISPERED. “SHE was the best.”
“She helped us,” Merry whispered.
“She was good to everyone,” Diego added.
“We will never forget her,” Vijay finished, and we all bumped fists. As long as I was alive, Robin Wellfleet would not be forgotten.
“Becca Greenfield!”
“What is it now?” I asked the guards as they cuffed my wrists. “More tests? More workouts?”
“Fight,” one of the guards grunted, and poked me in the back with her billy club. I hadn’t fought anyone since Tim. My innards were nowhere near healed from my miscarriage, but that didn’t matter to anyone except me.
“Prisoners, report to the stadium!” Ms. Strepp’s voice crackled through the ancient comm system, making everyone wince. “Report to the stadium!”
Inside the now-familiar halls, I glanced up: no Hope. Get it? No Hope? Ha!
When we got to the stadium the guards pushed me toward the ring. As soon as the helpers approached with my armor, I quickly shimmied out of my jumpsuit. I was learning.