“She’s not here, but I am. I’ll always be here, wild one.”
22
Aurora
“I’ll always be here.”
Those words trickle in and out of my consciousness. Like a shadow you can see, but you can’t touch.
By the time I open my eyes, I don’t know whether what I’m seeing is real or a mere play of my screwed up imagination.
The first thing I notice is that I’m not in my flat lying on the floor, reliving my gruesome memories.
My room in Jonathan’s house comes into view with its huge space and elegant ceiling. When did I get in here?
“You need to eat.”
I startle into a sitting position and that’s when I notice Jonathan seated on a chair opposite my bed.
He’s in a pair of dark blue suit trousers and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. The top buttons of his shirt are undone, revealing the taut lines of his collarbone and hinting at his chest muscles.
That’s the most skin I’ve ever seen from Jonathan, aside from his veiny arms. It’s like he lives in a suit — or was born in one.
Not that he had to get nude before, all he needs is that firm hand to make me fall all over the place.
He’s been focused on his phone, but now, he slides it in his pocket and lifts a bowl of soup from a tray on the bedside table.
“You brought me here?”
“Why ask a question you already know the answer to?”
Did he listen to Alicia’s voice message? Worse, did he see me at my lowest on the floor?
“How…how did you get access to my flat?”
“I have my ways.” He offers me the bowl. “Now, eat. You haven’t had anything since this morning and it’s nine in the evening.”
How the hell does he know that? I don’t bother asking, because he’ll just say he has his ways again or bluntly ignore me.
My nose scrunches at the scent of food. “I’m not hungry.”
If anything, nausea is about to hit me for no apparent reason.
“Is this part of your rebirth? Skipping meals?”
“So what if it is?”
“You cannot escape Maxim by stopping everything you used to do when you were with him. You do realise you’re only fooling yourself, right?”
My nails sink into the duvet as black rage bubbles in my stomach. “You know nothing about me to say that, okay? Nothing! And I told you not to say his name.”
“There, clear evidence that your rebirth never took off. If you’re a mess after a meeting with his solicitor, how do you intend on facing him when he resurfaces? Because he will resurface, Aurora. If it’s not with parole, then it’ll be with something else. People like Maxim don’t like to be pushed to the shadows. He’ll steal the limelight and he’ll come after you. So instead of running away from the ghost of his name, get your shit together. Flight mode never works, so you might want to start trying the fight mode.”
My lips part as the weight of his words strikes a deep, dark corner in my chest. It’s almost like he was with me during the years I looked over my shoulder, expecting the ghost of my past to catch up to me.
In fact, I still do. It’s a curse without a solution.
Some of my nightmares are about vacant eyes, but mo