No.
No…
Alicia. You can’t leave me.
She promised we’d see each other more often if I chose to study in a university in London once I was eighteen.
I was counting the days, crossing them off my calendar until I got there.
A sob tears from my throat as a sense of grief sneaks up on me quietly and grips me in its clutches. All our moments together play like a distant song at the back of my head, and the fact that I’ve lost her forever engulfs me in a wave of darkness.
A bleak world.
A strangled heart.
This can’t be happening.
Alicia can’t be gone.
It’s a lie. It has to be.
Still, my tears blind my eyes no matter how much I bargain with my head.
I stare up at the sky, at the stormy clouds and the pounding rain. At the howling wind in the trees and the desolate road.
That’s how it feels inside. Barren. Hollow.
Wake me up, please. I can’t breathe. Someone wake me up.
My phone vibrates and I startle as a picture of Dad lifting me in his arms on my sixteenth birthday flashes on the screen.
My Hero.
I named him my hero, but he never wore a superhero cape. Not even close.
I stare behind me, my tears coming to a screeching halt. I hop on my bike, throw my phone in the basket, and pedal down the road the fastest I can. The rain soaks me, my dark hair sticks to my forehead and my mouth, but I don’t stop my high speed.
The phone flashes with a text from Dad.
My Hero: You were here, weren’t you, my little muse?
Muse. That’s what Dad calls me sometimes. When I asked him why he uses that nickname, he said it’s because I inspire him to be a better man.
My breathing catches as I stare behind me. No one is following me, but I feel as if someone is.
The phone flashes again, and this time I do answer, putting it on speaker as I continue my escape.
“Clarissa.” His suave, welcoming tone suffocates the air. The Yorkshire accent is barely there. “You know I don’t like it when you don’t answer my calls.”
“W-why…? Tell me why, Dad.”
“It’s not what it seemed, Muse. Wait for me at home. We’ll talk when I get back.”
“Why, Dad?!” I shriek. “Why?”
“Because I can. I’ll be there in a few.”
The line is cut off. Just like that. It’s completely cut off.