My gaze trails to the three of them sitting on the front row and I grin. Lars. Sitting. I know. I don’t remember the last time I saw him rest his butt down. But I told him he’s not allowed to stand during my wedding or I’ll kick him out.
He bitched for some time in his snobbish
tone, but obviously I won, because he complied.
Elsa walks down towards us with Knox by her side. He serves no role, except to piss off Aiden, who’s glaring at him from his seat while Knox smiles from ear to ear.
After he delivers Elsa to her place as the maid of honour, he kisses her cheek and retreats. I’m surprised Aiden doesn’t jump down his throat here and now.
Soon after, Teal appears with her hand tucked into Ethan’s arm.
She’s wearing a long black dress with a huge skirt and a lace bodice. Some people stop and stare at her unconventional choice, but my grin widens even more.
Putain.
That’s exactly how I imagined ma belle when she said she would wear her favourite colour for her favourite day.
She told me that, in Spanish origins, wearing a black wedding dress means devoting the marriage until death.
I like that idea.
In fact, I like that idea so much that I would’ve been disappointed if she’d worn a normal white dress.
Teal isn’t normal and she never will be. This is only further evidence of how deep and far she goes.
Nothing deters her from expressing her thoughts, and while that drives me insane sometimes, I can’t get enough of her or her sarcastic comebacks. Or how she holds on to me as if I’m her world. As if she’s as thrilled she found me as I am about finding her.
My favourite time of the day is when she crawls into my side and hugs me to sleep because it makes her feel safe.
My favourite part is when she says my name with that softness that she shows to no one but me.
My favourite meal is when she tries to cook something and makes me taste it first in case it’s rubbish.
My favourite activity is when we run together and challenge each other on who gets to finish their lap first.
My favourite person is her.
I never thought I would allow someone so close, to the point they’d become my favourite. Or that they’d become the centre of my life.
But here we are and there she is.
Ma belle. My love. My all.
There was a moment in time where I hated myself and took refuge in other people. There was a moment in time where she shunned people and withdrew into herself.
And while sometimes those memories strike again, we don’t run away from them anymore. I take her hand in mine and we talk to Dr Khan, Elsa’s shrink whom she recommended to us.
At first, Teal didn’t really want to talk, but now, she’s even more opened up than me.
We talk about our coping mechanisms. About how she dealt with her trauma and how I dealt with mine.
We don’t judge each other. Fuck anyone who judges how survivors deal with their trauma. Just because some treat it one way doesn’t mean the entire world needs to do the same.
Trauma is a chronic illness that each human being deals with differently. Trauma is a cancer that can eat you from the inside out if you don’t somehow come up with a coping mechanism.
Teal and I might have made mistakes, but that’s how we learnt. That’s how we got to this moment where we become one. Literally and figuratively.
It’s not normal for two young people to get married at the age of twenty, but Teal and I were never the normal type.