I’m going one step further.
I’m making it so much worse.
Mum falls asleep on the sofa after drinking two glasses of wine. I cover her with a blanket and take away Papa’s campaign plan from between her fingers.
It’s the same one he presented to the party today — the one she criticised harshly. She said it can be better.
I kiss her on the temple and then clean the dishes before retreating to my room in Mum’s flat.
She decorated everything to make it like the one I have back home. Only, this one doesn’t have a balcony from which ‘someone’ can sneak in.
Pulling out one of my oversized T-shirts, I put it on and go commando. In the past, I used to wear knickers, but since Cole has become a constant part of my nights, I’ve developed the habit of wearing nothing underneath.
It’s…liberating.
I retrieve my phone and scroll through Instagram. Elites lost today because Xander and Aiden were too distracted.
Ronan posted a selfie with the other three horsemen a few hours ago — right before the game started. Cole stands in the back as Xander clutches him and Aiden by the shoulders.
He’s not smiling or scowling. It’s his default face. I zoom in on him and my heart does that same little flutter that happens whenever I look at him.
My fingers trail to my necklace and I close my eyes for a brief second, imagining him coming through the non-existent balcony and jumping me on the bed.
Is it healthy that I miss him when I just saw him this morning?
My phone pings and I startle, my eyes flying open.
If my heart could spill to the ground, it would right about now.
A text from Cole. It’s almost as if he’s telepathic and knows exactly when I’m thinking about him.
Cole: I’m in your room. You aren’t.
My breathing hitches as I type.
Silver: What are you doing in my room?
Cole: What I do every night, Butterfly. Getting my dose of you.
An involuntary smile grazes my lips.
Silver: But I’m not there.
Cole: Your sheets are. Your smell is. Even your underwear drawer.
Silver: Don’t you dare look in there!
Cole: Already did. Do you honestly think there’s something of yours that I haven’t already looked through?
Silver: You’re such a pervert.
Cole: Admit it, you’re turned on thinking about me lying naked in your bed as I jerk one off to you.
I wasn’t, but now I am.
I can’t get the image of Cole touching himself on my bed out of my head. My nipples strain against my T-shirt and I readjust it, only for them to ache more.
Still, I type the lie.