And we shouldn’t be here.
After saying goodnight, I retreat to my room and slide down the door after I close it.
Something burns in my chest, and it…God, it hurts.
It hurts so much knowing what I’ll do to him. That’s why I’ve been delaying it, trying to talk my brain out of it.
Maybe I can live without revenge.
Maybe…
The little girl with black hair and soulless eyes appears in front of me. Silent tears fall down her cheeks, but she’s not speaking. She’s not doing anything.
She just stands there in her torn collar and dirty dress.
Help me.
Save me.
Free me.
She doesn’t have to say the words for me to feel them. She’s always been there; she’s the constant shadow on my shoulder.
And now, I have to get justice, for her.
For me.
You know what? I’m done hiding and running away from the inevitable. Agnus will get me the supplies if I ask him to.
I retrieve my phone and call the number I should’ve dialled sooner.
“Hello,” I say. “Can we meet tomorrow?”
After he confirms, I pull out a piece of paper and pour my heart onto it in one go.
This is my legacy.
My goodbye.
30
Ronan
When the great Earl Edric Astor says he’s having a family meeting, everyone must drop to their knees and listen.
Well, not exactly, but something like that.
So we’re all here in the dining room. And by we, I mean, Mum, Eduard the fucker, Lars — because we’ve basically adopted him — and yours truly.
Mum sits at the head chair, or more like Dad sat her on it while he stands behind her. She’s wearing a beige dress that makes her appear paler, or maybe she’s been paler than usual.
Lars, like any adopted child, doesn’t want to tell me why Mum’s cold has been going on longer than ever. He’s after the parents’ favour.
But he still stands beside me, not taking a seat. It’s like he’s expecting an order of tea and wouldn’t want to miss it when it arrives.
Eduard is across from me, throwing a glance my way now and again. He’s wearing a purple suit that makes him look like a clown.
I shake my head at that image.