Or maybe I hated Dad because he ruined our costume party and took Mum to another party for grown-ups.
That was when Uncle Eduard came. He was drunk; I could tell by the shrill laughter and the way he smelled like ‘John’s cheap liquor’, as Lars called it.
He was wearing a green suit and had a clown mask in his hand. When he approached me, he slurred. “Happy Halloween, little nephew. Look at you all scary.”
“I’m Dracula today.” I puffed out my chest.
“Ooh, I’m scared. Come on, I’m already late.” He extended his hand to me, and I took it.
Uncle Eduard didn’t come by often. Dad always yelled at him and called him useless and said he spent a lot of his money. Besides, Uncle Eduard always looked like a clown, even without the mask. He has a nose that’s nothing like Dad’s and mine. Mum calls them beautiful. She’s never called Uncle Ed’s nose beautiful.
Lars intercepted us at the entrance and stopped to look Uncle Eduard up and down then smiled at me. “Would you rather go to bed early, Ronan?”
“No. I want to show off my costume.”
“You heard the kid, Lars. Get out of the fucking way.”
“Language, sir.”
“Oh, fuck you and your sir, Lars.” Uncle Ed dragged me behind him, loosening his tie. “Even the fucking servant thinks he can tell me what to do. You’ll see, Edric. You’ll fucking see.”
“Mum says those are bad words,” I whispered.
“They are, aren’t they? Charlotte is such a good woman, so, so good. Edric always got good things. Even his wife and son belong in a museum.” He smiled at me, but it was fake. Even at that age, I knew there was something wrong with that smile.
Uncle Eduard ushered me into a van. I thought it was cool at the time. It was as big as a bus and there were lights and we had a screen between us and the driver. The windows were tinted like in Dad’s car so I could see the people but the people couldn’t see me.
How cool is that? I thought.
I must’ve spent so long staring at the lights because Uncle Ed asked me if I liked them. I said yes. He was drinking from a blue sparkling bottle.
“What is that, Uncle?”
“This, my dear nephew, is how I remain sane despite all the shit your dad puts me through.” He loosened his tie again. “Fucking Australia. He’s basically sending me to exile.”
“What does exile mean?” I sat on the bench across from Uncle, my feet dangling in the air.
“It means your father hates me.”
“He said he doesn’t. He only wants you to do better.”
“Fuck it. You sound like him even this young.”
“Where are we going, Uncle?”
“My friend’s party. Everyone will be wearing costumes like you.” He abandoned his chair and offered me the sparkling drink. “You want to try it?”
“Is it alcohol?”
“No, it’s juice. Sparkling juice.” Uncle Ed grinned. “It makes you stronger so you can protect your mother. Don’t you want to protect your mother?”
“Of course I do.” I puffed up my chest and took the drink. Mum and Dad said I shouldn’t take anything from strangers, but this wasn’t a stranger; it was Uncle Ed.
The first sip made my face scrunch up. “Eww, it tastes bad.”
“You’re a coward then.” Uncle shook his head.
“I’m not a coward.” I took one more sip and closed my nose like I did whenever Lars made me drink milk.