And with that, she pulls on Ronan’s hand and brushes past me without a glance.
Without a look behind her.
I can clutch her by the wrist and pull her back. I can bring her to my side and let the world know she’ll always belong there.
But I don’t have the right to.
That knowledge slices me open
more than her words. It deepens the hole, making it unrecognisable. Almost as if it’s from another universe.
“Say it,” Ronan whispers so only I can hear him as he follows her. “One word.”
Stop.
That’s the word he’s waiting to hear, and I know he’ll let go. Or I can make him with a few more punches.
My face hardens as I watch him take her from between my fingers. I stand there like a bloody fool, unable to do the one thing I ever wanted in my life.
Sometimes, what you want is the one thing you can’t get.
The one thing that will be taken away from you.
Ronan shakes his head and goes with her.
I watch their backs disappearing into the school building, and it feels as if my entire life has gone with them.
My phone vibrates with a text.
Ronan: You had your chance and you lost it.
Ronan: I’ll send pictures.
I throw the phone against a tree, making it crack. The only words that keep running in my head is her voice, her words, her resignation.
I. Am. Done.
14
Kimberly
“Ronan?” Elsa nearly shrieks and I cover her mouth with my palm.
We’re sitting around a table in her house’s garden. Since it’s a rare sunny day, we decided to study outside. We’re sipping on juice. Or rather, Elsa is. I’ve only drunk water since I got here.
Water makes you full and keeps some of the hunger away.
She removes my hand and whisper-hisses, “You’re going on a date with Ronan?”
“It just happened.” I scribble a line with my pencil on a draft paper.
“You don’t go with things just because they happen.” Elsa pushes her notebook away, her eyes narrowing like a detective with a criminal. “Is it because of Xander?”
I told her about the kiss and the fight between the two of them earlier, because if I didn’t, I would’ve gone crazy trying to figure out what the hell happened.
Even now, I have no idea what’s going on.
“No. I mean maybe…” I stare at her from underneath my lashes. “Is it wrong that I want normal for once?”