No one cares about you.
You’re a nobody. Absolutely nothing.
I shake my head as I cut the distance towards the classroom. They will not get to me.
Not today, Satan. Go crawl into your little hole.
This has been my school for three years, but I’ve never once felt as if I belong in this place.
I turned eighteen a few days ago and I celebrated my birthday on Elsa’s sickness bed with Kir by my side and Dad on Skype.
No matter how old I am, it never gets easy to walk these halls, to let the knives stab me with each word out of their malicious mouths.
I wonder if they’re seeing the blood following me like a trail or if I’m the only one.
My fingers snake to my wrist, then I quickly drop my hand to my side.
For Kir, I repeat the mantra in my mind. You’re doing this for Kir.
If I get a good college and a scholarship, I’ll be able to afford a private dorm and take Kir with me, because there’s no way in fuck I’m leaving him with Mum once I’m in college.
The voices around me start blurring into themselves and I lift my head high as I put one foot in front of the other.
They’re nothing.
They’re just a ramification of the fog and I always beat down that damn fog.
Except once.
Okay, twice, and Kir witnessed one of them.
“Scarce, fucker.”
My feet come to a halt on their own accord at that voice. That strong, low voice that’s been a constant in my dreams.
And my nightmares.
Okay, my nightmares more than my dreams.
That cruel voice has ended my life over and over again when he could’ve saved me. Instead of letting me hold on to him, he left me for dead.
That voice isn’t only a part of nightmares, he’s a nightmare all on his own.
The earth tilts off balance as I lift my head. I have to keep reminding myself that gravity exists and I won’t actually fall over.
That he doesn’t matter. He stopped mattering that day seven years ago.
But maybe I’m only fooling myself, because even though I see him every day – or rather, avoid him – his view never gets more familiar or easier or fucking normal.
But there’s nothing normal about Xander Knight. He was born to become part of the elite, the ones who crush others under their boots and don’t look back at the damage. He’s one of the kings who leave chaos and heartbreak in their wake.
He’s part of RES’s four horsemen, the football team’s ace striker, and nicknamed War for his ability to destroy the opponent’s defence.
And war he is. Xander is the type of war you never see coming, and when you do, it’s already too late.
It’s already sucked you into its clutches and destroyed you from the inside out.
His golden hair is styled back but is short on the sides in a fashionable way that adds to his overall cruelty. When I was younger, I used to think he stole the blue of his eyes from the ocean and the sky.