The gelato is now dripping on the ground, and I would usually devour it all, but my entire focus is on Xan and how he can’t stop sobbing.
I also thought I’d never stop crying about Nana. That I’d cry like a princess in one of her books and the tears would kill me.
I eventually stopped, though.
Daddy says nothing is permanent. Everything changes.
He’s wrong. Xan and I will never change. I’ll always be his Green and he’ll always be my knight.
We made it official after all.
Xan places a hand on my shoulder and shoves me, then stares at the ground. “Go away, Green.”
“No.”
He glances up at me. “No?”
“I don’t want to leave you alone. You didn’t leave me when Nana died.”
Slowly facing me, he watches me closely, his blond brows pinching as more tears slide down his cheeks. “Why are you crying?”
I sniffle, wiping my face with the back of my hand, mixing his tears with mine. “Because you’re crying.”
“Don’t cry, Green.”
“You don’t cry.” I sniffle.
He hiccoughs. “I hate it when you cry.”
“I hate it when you cry, too.” I inch closer and put my arms around his neck, keeping the one with the melting gelato away so I don’t make a mess out of him as well.
My knight is beautiful and can’t have dirt on his armour.
Xan wraps his arms around my waist, hides his face in my neck, and sobs. He sobs so hard, I feel the vibration against my skin.
I cry, too, because his pain feels like mine now. His pain is so real and close, it’s as if I’m the one hurting, not him.
When Nana left, Xan hugged me while I cried. He stayed with me until I fell asleep and didn’t leave my side.
Now, I’ll hug him until the pain goes away. Until he can smile and show me his pretty dimples.
“Green…” He sniffles in my neck. “Promise you’ll never leave me.”
“Never. You’re my knight, remember?”
He nods.
“From today onwards, we’re one.”
“We’re one.”
1
Kimberly
I’m not good enough.
I’ll never be good enough.