“Technically, I saw nothing, so no voyeurism there.” A pause. “I’m thinking you’re developing some exhibitionism tendencies, though.”
“Which is none of your business.”
“You’re right. I lost interest after the truth set you free.”
I squeeze Xander’s shoulder so he’ll urge him to leave. I can’t show my face if he’s over there.
Xan chuckles, then says with utter sarcasm, “But that’ll never be the case for you, Captain.”
There’s a long silence, and I wish I could see the expression on Cole’s face, but I’d rather die than do that right now.
“Come to practice,” he says in a cool tone before his voice disappears altogether.
“Is he gone?” I whisper without looking up.
Xander keeps a hand around my head. “You should stay like this a bit more, just to make sure.”
I smile, my fingers digging into his jacket. When we were kids, he’d always invent games to make me hug him or him hug me. He said it tuned out the outside world chaos.
Seven years later, he still has that habit of manipulating his way into my arms.
“You still love hugs, Xan?”
“Only from you, Green.”
33
Kimberly
Another week passes in a blur.
Time is strange. One moment, it’s long and excruciating and the next, it’s so fast you can’t savour it.
When my therapist asks why I think I feel like it’s moving fast now, I don’t even hesitate to answer.
It’s because I have the most important people with me, and it frightens me that I’m not savouring my time with them enough.
While Mum and I still don’t address each other whenever we meet by accident in the house, everything else is different.
Dad never went back to Brussels and has taken a long leave; he’s putting in his papers to ask for a transfer to London. When I told him I was fine, he said he wasn’t, and I might have hugged him to death.
There’s also Elsa, who’s been listening to my jumbled thoughts and things I didn’t like to admit out loud, like how I hid because I thought she’d leave me the same way all those I considered friends did.
She said I’m stuck with her for life.
I also have my little happy pill, Kirian. He’s been writing poems for me. One of them says:
I don’t say this a lot.
Because I’m a big man.
Love you.
Now.
Tomorrow.
Forever.