“Let me the fuck go,” I snap for her sake, not mine.
She has to stay the fuck away from me because I’m this close from ruining us both for life.
When she doesn’t comply, I grab her arms and shove her away. She releases me with a gasp, but she doesn’t leave.
We’re both breathing harshly as we stand across from one another. She, because she probably took the stairs running – like when she was excited as a kid. Me, because of all the black thoughts swirling in my mind. Thoughts about hugging her again, kissing her, and being a sinful fucker fit for hell and all its friends.
“Why are you here?” I speak in my cruel tone, the one I’ve always used to push her away.
This is how I pretend her presence doesn’t tilt my world and refuses to let it snap back to normal balance.
“Because of you.” She smiles, her eyes sparkling as if she’s reading one of her books.
“Didn’t you hear a word I said at the hospital? You’re my sister, Kim.”
The more I say that word, the harder I dig in that blade from seven years ago. It’s becoming rusty and it hurts like a fucking bitch whenever twisted.
She lifts her chin. “I’m not.”
“Just because you want it to be that way doesn’t mean it’s true. You’re not a kid anymore. Grow the fuck up.”
“Screw you, okay?”
That’ll be impossible. Or possible if she doesn’t get the fuck out of here, now.
“Didn’t know you had incest as a kink, Kim.” I grin.
“Apparently, you do. You always thought about it, didn’t you, Xan?”
My jaw tightens, but I remain silent.
“I’m not judging you.” She sighs. “I probably would’ve been the same.”
“Well, I’m judging you, so get the fuck out of here.”
“So you can leave and never return?” She stares up at me with those huge, gut-stabbing eyes.
T
hose eyes will be the reason for my free fall to hell. I see it, feel it, can almost fucking taste it.
“Yes,” I mutter.
“You know, even if we were siblings, I would rather have you close than not here at all.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you think I can stay here after all that’s happened?”
“I hope so.”
“What?”
“Listen to me first, okay? Dad told me everything.”
I pause. “What do you mean?”
“We’re not siblings, not biologically, at least.”
Then she goes on to tell me what Calvin said about his relationship with my mum and how Dad and Janine retaliated.