Eli is so pretty.
The only difference is he’s small. I am not.
I’m wearing my RES’s uniform as I stand with him in our back garden with all the tall trees and the wires.
“Why did you leave, Eli?” I whisper.
“Come on, crybaby.” He holds out his hand for me. “We’re going to have fun.”
“Fun?”
“We’ll go to a place where we’ll be free.”
Free.
Eli and I. Free.
“Hurry, crybaby.”
I’m about to place my hand in his when voices slam into my head. Firm lips press a kiss after a kiss against my dry ones.
“Stay with me, Elsa. Don’t you dare fucking leave me.”
That voice.
That touch.
“Crybaby?” Eli’s eyes water with tears. I hate it when my brother cries.
“Stay with me, Elsa.” The voice...
“Please, crybaby. Don’t leave me alone.”
“Elsa!”
“Eli and Elsa together forever, right?”
The onslaught of both voices hits me over and over again. Tentacles of pain wrap around my heart. I can’t breathe.
I can’t fucking breathe.
“Bring her back!” The voice shouts. “Bring her back before I smash this whole fucking place.”
There’s so much pain in that voice. So much passion. So much… care.
Hearing him fight for me is like being lifted into the clouds. It’s peaceful but scary.
“Crybaby?”
Eli’s hand is still stretched in front of me. His expression is drawn downwards as he pleads.
“I’m not a crybaby anymore.” But as I say that, a tear streams down my cheek. I recognise the finality as I pull my hand. “Goodbye, Eli.”
He turns to smoke, fading into the distance.
I’m tempted to try and catch him, to spend more time with him, but I recognise, deep down, this isn’t where I’m supposed to be.
Someone is waiting for me.