I just do.
Tears fall on my cheeks and my heart aches so much that I can’t breathe or speak.
Aiden leans over and like that first day at senior year, he flicks his tongue on my cheek and licks my tears.
He takes his sweet time tasting them before he licks my bottom lip and bites it into his mouth.
“Good girl.”
8
Aiden
I knock the white queen with the black king.
Hmm.
It feels good to knock down queens.
I lift her up, let her stand proudly in the middle of the board, then I knock her down again.
It doesn’t feel as good as the first time.
This is how addicts feel. It’s almost impossible to recreate the first high, but they keep chasing it anyway.
I should’ve known better than to run after an imaginary high.
The light goes on in the lounge area, and I blink.
Jonathan stops at the entrance. He’s wearing black trousers and a button-down. A mug of coffee hangs from his hand. He’s probably pulling an all-nighter. I’m surprised he didn’t stay at his company’s office.
His eyes narrow on me.
He doesn’t like it when I stay in the dark. Usually, I’d avoid triggering his red alarms.
But I don’t give a fuck today.
I just left Elsa in her bed after I wrenched an orgasm out of her.
I unbound her hands and left without fucking some sense into her.
Not because I wanted to stop. Fuck no. But because I knew I would freak her out more than I already did.
I would push her to the road of no return.
She was right there, bound, and spread for me. She glanced up at me with tears, anger and fear in her eyes, and it took all my self-restraint to leave.
Because at that moment? I was tempted to make her cry more.
Hurt more.
Break more.
I tell myself that I don’t really want to hurt her. That, deep down, Elsa is special.
But the harder she engraves herself under my skin, the more persistent I become about ruining her.
Since I left her room, I’ve been ‘blowing off steam’ — Jonathan’s words, not mine — by working out and playing chess. I had to stop myself from climbing back into her room and showing her the true blackness inside me.